Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric Issue #5

Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric Issue #5: The Breakup Issue is a perzine dedicated to the pain and loss of a breakup. It is mainly about one woman who, for all intents and purposes, appears to be the love of the author’s (also a woman) life. One thing rings particularly true while reading this deeply personal zine: relationships are often messy and complicated and wonderful and awful, and the pain of a breakup can feel unending no matter what gender you are.

This zine explores all kinds of pain that derives from breaking up with someone you loved in an epic, devastating way. The author describes her marriage to a man that she liked well enough, but was hardly crazy in love with; then an abusive relationship with a woman that followed; and, finally, Hannah, the beloved one in the central relationship that this zine focuses on. Hannah is the one whom the author cannot imagine not having in her life, at least in a platonic way. Hannah, who caused so much joy and pain: “I will wash myself in your tears, my shame in the sweat and scent of you. I will push my guilt away in the arms and the charms of people who are not you.”

I found many relationship truths in this zine. For example, how tacky, tired clichés like “It’s not you; it’s me,” “I think we should just be friends” and, perhaps the worst of all, “I never meant to hurt you” really are! They are tacky, to be sure, and yet unavoidable sometimes. The author also notes how “Lifelong commitments are for very few people” and that she “misses the potential of a new crush.” She poses the question: “Why is love so appealing that normally sensible people rearrange their lives?”

Essentially this zine takes the reader on a journey of pain, anger, depression, forgiveness and acceptance. Anyone who has been through a heart-wrenching breakup can relate to at least one of the author’s poems or stories. You do not have to be a feminist, a woman, or a lesbian to understand basic human pain and loss.

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