Elevate Difference

Tune Him In, Turn Him On: Using Intuition to Find and Keep the Man of Your Dreams

Relationship advice can be a tricky and sensitive topic at times. Over time you learn not to take it from anyone except a small number of entrusted friends. In Servet Hasan's Tune Him In, Turn Him On, the author takes a new approach to dating men: actively developing and applying your intuition. Those of us who rely on our gut feeling and are into spiritual activities, like opening our chakras and visualizing auras, may appreciate Hasan’s blend of spirituality and boy guidance.

I found this book to be geared toward younger women who are feeling lost in their love lives and insecure in their relationship abilities. Hasan offers gentle exercises that give the readers support and energy during difficult moments when they want to stop obsessing over a guy and start focusing on their deeper selves. For example, one of her meditations includes letting go of old relationship baggage by visualizing suitcases filled with past memories floating down a river until they are out of sight. Another exercise is a more traditional golden light meditation that helps readers replenish their inner core and connect with their relationship goals.

I found some of Hasan's confident generalizations about “all men” limiting. These generalizations didn't always make sense to me because I've met men who are “naturally born talkers” or who have admitted they are in love, contrary to Hasan’s assertions. It could be that the book is tailored to help seduce a certain type of man or for women mainly focused on marriage. Either way, creating more distance between the genders with the “us” against “them” perspective and reinforcing heteronormative ideals in the dating game is not something that I happily took away from this book.

Overall, Hasan covers all the dating basics and pushes readers to really think about their own love goals, whatever they may be: opening up to someone new, dating, or marriage. She spends several chapters talking about how women should work on their relationships with themselves before going out to find 'the man of their dreams'. Hasan even guarantees that once you fall in love with yourself, your ideal man will come to you, instead of you having to go out and search for him.

Written by: Cinthia Pacheco, March 22nd 2010

I think many feminists go along the 'respect yourself' route when talking about dating and sex, but I've never really seen a true dating book, talking about the subtler messages within the dating world. Personally, I think the dynamic between men and women is changing and it is very interesting!

Thanks for the comment!

I wish that feminists would write self-help type books about dating. It seems like dating has changed less than marriage. A male writer at eHarmony even admitted that dating is archaic. lol

Having said that, I don't think that the hookup culture is an improvement over dating. But it seems like dating (or courtship) has been more resistant to feminist innovations than most other institutions, including marriage.


Hola Cinthia,

muy bueno tu review y muy cierto. Te felicito!!


Thanks! both of you!

very cool cinthia, you are such a great writer! youre words flow like a river. i will definitely, when im back in the states and not speaking fulltime spanish, check out this book.

awesome review! =) I think I might actually check some of this book out..