infidelity

Revenge

payal — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Revenge sketches the transformation of Jhumur, an educated, ambitious Bengali lady who after marriage transforms into a meek, obedient wife. Taslima Nasrin has portrayes Jhumur as a strong yet submissive woman who married Haroon for love and is bewildered to see the change in her husband’s attitude after the wedding. The book keeps us pondering on the ideas of right and righteous acts.

When Jhumur married Haroon, little did she know that the life she dreamed would remain in her fantasies. Haroon was just another orthodox husband with little respect for her dreams or ambitions; he expected her to do the cooking for the entire family, despite having maids to do the same. He insisted her to cover her head and was not allowed to stand in the balcony or travel alone or to her parents’ place. He defined Jhumar’s life by setting a code of acceptable behavior befitting a daughter-in-law rather than seeing her as a woman yearning for his love and companionship.

When Jhumur conceives after six weeks of marriage, Haroon forces her to abort, as he does not believe that the child is his. This was the ultimate betrayal to Jhumur. Her husband had destroyed the truth, trust, and purity of their relationship. Jhumur realizes that she hates him and webs plans to get revenge by falling in love with Afzal, the painter living downstairs. Their mutual attraction leads to physical intimacy, and Jhumur plans to have a child fathered by Afzal. She connived by avoiding her husband during her ovulation period and keeping a physical relationship with Afzal.

By the time Jhumur becomes pregnant for a second time, Haroon is a totally changed man. He excludes her from all household chores and involves her opinion in all the decisions. He believes the child to be his beyond any suspicion and acts like a doting father, taking care of all the baby-related chores.

Jhumur’s life changes also. She no longer has to cover her head, is allowed to travel alone to meet up with her old friends, and decides to work as a eacher. Haroon no longer controls her and accepts her as an intelligent woman strong enough to make her own decisions.

Taslima Nasrin has narrated the emotional turbulence that Jhumur suffers after marriage very vividly. Jhumur faces a myriad of emotions, from the bliss of being married to the man she loved to the shock knowing his abusive nature to her insecurities and helplessness to realizing she didn’t love Haroon anymore. Jhumur opts out of divorce, as she had seen how divorced women are treated by her society. (Even their parents treat them worse than the maid.) She accepts that her life and fate is tied with Haroon, but she can’t let him off the hook for the distrust he had shown her.

Nasrin tried to portray Jhumur as a determined modern woman, though occasionally one can feel the contradiction in the character. Jhumur hates her husband well enough to have a child from another man, yet she says she doesn’t hate him enough to leave him. She decides to free herself from the traditions, yet she is traditional enough to consider marriage was for life and couldn’t live with the “disgrace of divorce.” Other than slight discrepancies in setting boundaries to Jhumur's thoughts, the novel is an uncomfortably wonderful read.

Written by: Sunitha Jayan, October 29th 2010

Adrift (Choi Voi)

admin — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 01:00:00 +0000

Directed by Bùi Thạc Chuyên

Global Film Initiative

At last year's Venice Film Festival, Adrift won the FIPRESCI (International Federation of Film Critics) Prize. With its lush scenery, layered characters, and startling soundtrack, it’s not hard to see why the film stood out to an international panel of jurors.

The film is in Vietnamese with English subtitles and is set in various Vietnamese locales, including Hanoi, Quang Ninh, and Hoi An. Jam-packed streets filled with tiny tuk-tuks and motorcycles are juxtaposed with lonely, gorgeous beach campfires at sunset. The sights and sounds of Vietnam play a large role in the film, but the characters and their ambiguous, conflicted emotions take center stage.

Our female protagonist Duyen (Do Thi Hai Yen) is a beautiful and happy newlywed. She admits to her friend Cam (Linh- Dan Pham) that she is content to have “settled” on a life that makes her happy. Cam is unable to hide the myriad of negative emotions that she feels in response to Duyen’s union with Hai (Duy Khoa Nguyen), a boyish cab driver. Cam’s physical expressions paired with her vague verbal musings make it hard for a viewer to discern the root of her negativity. Is it because she is ill? Jealous?

Tho (Johnny Tri Nguyen) is introduced when Duyen makes a delivery to him as a favor to Cam. The relationship that ensues between Tho and Duyen is chaotic, lovely, and not quite right. Likewise, Hai embarks on a friendship with a young neighbor that blurs the line between right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate. In both cases, there is a power dynamic at play, in which the female has been or could be victimized by one or multiple men. Cam seems to be exempt from this rule, as her character straddles the continuum of masculinity and femininity.

If you are seeking clarity, tidy conclusions, or even an a-ha moment, Adrift may leave you disappointed. Feel like spending the afternoon in a rain-soaked relationship kaleidoscope? Then this is the film for you.

Written by: Rachel Muzika Scheib, August 14th 2010

Prophecy (6/6/2010)

admin — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:00:00 +0000

East Fourth Street Theater

New York, New York

Forty years ago, Edwin Starr’s “War” was a Billboard Top 100 hit, an explicit denunciation of armed conflict. “War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing,” he trilled. Karen Malpede’s Prophecy takes this sentiment as her starting point. Her latest play, an ambitious, layered look at the damage wrought by centuries of strife on the battlefield—and in the personal relationships that ensue once military action is over—is bold and dramatic. It’s also shrill.

Numerous stories unfold simultaneously. Jeremy Thrasher (Brendan Donaldson), recently back from fighting in Iraq, is studying acting at a well-respected New York conservatory. His teacher is former Broadway actor Sarah Golden (Kathleen Chalfant). A monologue Golden instructs Thrasher to deliver—the Tiresias speech from Sophocles’ Antigone unwittingly sends him into a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-induced rage. Golden is shocked by the violence of his in-class outburst, and in short order not only has to help him deal with the trauma he has experienced, but also has to re-examine her own past, including a volatile relationship with Lucas Brightman, a former student who fought in Vietnam and later died. Golden and Brightman had been lovers and Thrasher’s struggles bring Golden face-to-face with a host of complicated recollections and emotions from the early 1970s.

At the same time, Golden and her husband of many decades, Alan (George Bartenieff), are having difficulties. As the director of a refugee aid organization, Alan is often busy “saving the world,” making Sarah feel as if her work as a teacher is frivolous. Also distressing, many years back Alan had an affair with his assistant, Hala (Najla Said). But it was not just lust that propelled Alan into bed with Hala. A Jew whose father saved hundreds from Hitler’s ovens, Alan felt a tremendous need to propagate, to do his bit to replace those lost to the Fuhrer’s genocide. Sadly, Alan and Sarah cannot reproduce; Sarah became infertile following an illegal abortion performed years before, prior to Roe v. Wade. After taking up with Hala, Alan’s dream was realized—after one miscarriage, Hala carried to term and delivered a daughter, Mariam, who she reared in Lebanon.

Out of sight is apparently out of mind and Sarah and Alan rarely talk about either Hala or the child anymore. In fact, Alan doesn’t meet Mariam (Najla Said) until years later when, as an adult, she lands on his doorstep and threatens to blow him to smithereens with a bomb she says is hidden in her purse.

And that’s not all: Turns out Sarah’s boss, Dean Charles Muffler, [Peter Francis James] was Lucas Brightman’s commanding officer in Vietnam and his possible role in Brightman’s death lurks over the two-act production. What’s more, Thrasher’s PTSD triggers long-buried feelings in Muffler and he is once again tormented by memories of serving in the country.

These themes give Prophecy incredible, palpable intensity. Despite this, Prophecy weaves a cloth of far too many threads. The similarities between U.S. involvement in Vietnam and Iraq are noteworthy, but on top of themes including marital fidelity, the desire to reproduce, the meaning of friendship, the Holocaust, successful mentoring, how best to assist refugees, the threat of terrorism, and the lasting impact of war on both those who fight and those who are fought against, it’s too much.

Still, Prophecy delivers an urgent message. Like Edwin Starr’s “War,” it reminds us that nothing good comes from military combat. “They say we must fight to keep our freedom,” Starr sang. “But Lord knows there’s got to be a better way.”

Indeed.

Written by: Eleanor J. Bader, June 11th 2010

Vanishing

admin — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 09:09:00 +0000

By Candida Lawrence

Unbridled Books

Upon receiving my copy of Vanishing, Candida Lawrence’s writing was relatively new to me. The fourth offering in a series of standalone memoirs, Lawrence’s stories cover various stages in her life, from childhood father-daughter power struggles to marriage and child-rearing to aging. Her writing covers a vast array of life experiences and the resulting emotions.

Lawrence vividly describes experiences that have happened to many other women. In a story about abortion, she presents all of the female characters with dignity. Their distinctive personalities explain their own reactions, giving flavor to their diverse backgrounds.

The piece about her elderly parents was too much for me to swallow—I don’t do well with geriatric indignities—and I had to put the book down several times during that part. I managed to finish it, but it just reaffirmed my belief that when my own body starts to decay, I’m walking off into the ocean, or something like that.

Despite the serious nature of many of the painful topics in Vanishing, Lawrence injects the writing with frequent humor. Even amidst the bowels of sagging flesh and dementia, I found myself laughing.

One topic that I was curious about concerned her pieces about sexual intercourse and infidelity. She has a dream about her guy, Jack, with another woman. Packing her dog up, she heads out to his home to see if her dream was correct. Watching the two, she describes their sex as rather bland and mechanical with no kissing. In another story, she sleeps with Jack and it’s about as electrifying as doing the laundry, although there is a loving embrace from their years of being together.

I wanted to know whether sex was that boring for her generation, or is her writing simply mechanical when it comes to the more risqué scenes? Despite that question, her honesty about how she sees the world is engaging. There is an acceptance of life and the unpredictable. Lawrence does not resign herself to the struggles and give up, but pushes forward.

Some of these stories are not for the weak-hearted, or those in denial. Proceed with the expectation to feel many emotions.

Written by: Nicolette Westfall, June 7th 2009

One More Year

admin — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 22:30:00 +0000

By Sana Krasikov

Spiegel & Grau

Sana Krasikov, in her first published collection, brings a filling and current group of short stories, and in them, creates honest characters whose interactions cannot be forgotten. Dramatic and awful at times, desperate and sparse, the stories move through time as each day does. Eagerly, you turn the page, hoping for the best, but you see it doesn't always happen.

As a graduate of the reknown Iowa Writers' Workshop, Krasikov sounds like Raymond Carver at times: despairing and hopeless with a sliver of brightness that develops through clear storytelling. Capturing fond emotion and likening the everyday uncomfortable human element of strangers, the author leaves no image unseen. Reflecting the roots of Krasikov's life, characters often originate from both the Ukraine and the Soviet Republic of Georgia in recent times and are transplanted to the East Coast of the United States. In developing characters, she juxtaposes and successfully conveys the understanding and assimilation of the Western lifestyle, which proves trying for the immigrants. Necessity for survival exists as uncertainties prevail.

Somber and gray, dirty and stark, stories often involve senses of infidelity and mistrust by confused working souls. In addition, they present a weaving of passionate and determined people holding high expectations of relatives believed to be just as compassionate, but who are confused, real, and imperfect. In "Asal," the main character encounters her husband's mistress and the reader is left to wonder how she can interact with her so sensibly, witnessing the heated conversation of the deteriorating relationship. Often, family members add backstory and a thicker fabric of life to the stories.

The images Krasikov creates demonstrates her eloquent mastering of the craft. As a reader, you feel her images striking deeply, and you need to breathe after each story because you completely witness the heated banter or grevious silence between characters. The author leaves no point unseen and no character untouched. As the reader, you exist among the characters and feel the ambiance conveyed through remarkable definition.

Read this collection and go for a walk. Appreciate the world around you because One More Year definitely becomes a part of you. You take it with you wherever you go.

Written by: Carolyn Espe, October 15th 2008

Life After Betrayal: A Practical Guide

admin — Fri, 11 May 2007 01:26:00 +0000

By Lynda Bevan

Love Healing Press

Betrayal by a long-term partner is a painful business. Choosing to try to heal and continue a relationship after such a betrayal is very challenging. In her book, Life After Betrayal: A Practical Guide, author Linda Bevan provides a guide for couples who do choose to stay together after a serious betrayal. Pitching itself as “an honest, straightforward book that helps the reader though each step on the road to recovery,” it’s a slim volume, less than 100 pages, and easily accessible with its big type and many bulleted lists.

For anyone who hasn’t been in therapy, browsed the self-help section of the bookstore, or watched The Dr. Phil Show, it may introduce some basic psychological concepts - such as boundaries and self-esteem - and offer some insights into how to recreate trust in a partnership. Overall, however, the book is poorly organized, and, at times, painfully condescending. I found the author’s insistence on referring to the mind as “our memory box” when she explains how childhood experiences inform adult behaviours particularly annoying.

In many cases her “step-by-step” guide felt like nothing more than a series of brainstormed lists with little practical advice as to how wronged partners might actually cope or heal themselves and their off-the-rails relationships. In some cases, she just gives bad advice. For example, in Step Eight, “Managing Jealousy and Control,” we are told: “In moving on, trust is the part of the relationship that must come before anything else. If you cannot trust your partner then you have to face the possibility that the relationship will end.” True, indeed. However, rather than validating the betrayed partner’s feelings of insecurity and putting the onus on the one who did the betraying to re-establish trust, the author suggests that the betrayed partner make a leap of faith and simply trust. Your best friend or, in fact, any stranger on the bus will tell you otherwise.

Finally, though the author gives a quick nod to same-sex relationships, potential readers should note that the book uses exclusively heterosexual examples and appears aimed at a heterosexual (female) audience. While this is not the only self-help book that assumes a heterosexual female readership, I suspect that there are other publications that are more helpful for anyone who’s trying to heal a relationship after betrayal.

Written by: Elaine Beale, May 10th 2007