lifestyle

The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk, and Adventure In The 25 Years After 50

admin — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 08:00:00 +0000

It turns out that Madonna is not the queen of reinvention. That title belongs to Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, who truly is reinvention royalty. Lawrence-Lightfoot’s The Third Chapter offers a wise and uplifting guide to creating a new life or to drastically improving the one you’ve got. Although the bulk of advice is directed at folks actually in their “third chapter”, anyone in need of a transformation can benefit from Lawrence-Lightfoot’s advice and from the experience of the forty post-fifties she interviews.

As Lawrence-Lightfoot points out, our society expects seniors to retreat. But the book’s subjects—all in their fifties, sixties, or seventies—refused to see their “third chapter” as retrenchment or, worse, stagnation. Rather, they viewed their third chapter as an opportunity to resurrect old dreams and to create new ones.

The characters include a doctor who decides to study opera singing, a policy wonk who leaves a prestigious position to attend divinity school, and a successful businesswoman who becomes a relief worker in Kosovo. Many others revisit artistic passions. In one poignant story, a former professor begins painting a portrait of her best friend. Over time, as she tweaks and shades, her own face emerges from the canvas. As this new artist and so many of Lawrence-Lightfoot’s subjects discover, the post-fifty years are prime time for discovering one’s true voice and for new learning.

New learning is the crux of The Third Chapter and it is a theory from which readers of any age can benefit. Paradoxically, the first step to new learning is unlearning. Successful unlearning means dropping the unhealthy habits that most of us have picked up by high school: people-pleasing, guilt, aggressive competition, valuing external rewards over self-fulfillment, measuring ourselves by others’ high and low expectations, and allowing the harsh critical inner voice to suffer from terminal logorrhea. These are traits, practically reflexes, that many women will recognize. Appropriately, the theories of Mary Catherine Bateson and Carol Gilligan figure prominently.

Unlearning is only the first step, but once taken, self-consciousness, fear, and other limitations drop away. Only then can new learning kick in. Lawrence-Lightfoot, one of new learning’s pioneers, provides an excellent description of the extraordinary ways it pays off. A willingness to embrace collaboration, to take risks, and to practice strategic restraint (i.e. talking and acting less, listening and observing more) all turn out to be great methods for identifying and following one’s true passions and for hearing one’s own unadulterated voice. New learning also includes embracing struggles and setbacks as additional sources of knowledge, not as confirmation that one’s self-doubt was well placed (that’s so old learning).

While new learning requires maturity and experience, its principles can be applied at any age and with potentially unlimited benefits. By the end of the book, I was wondering why I hadn’t figured all this out already (I know, the self-chastising is ripe for unlearning) and equally pondered the unexpected and shocking revelation that, according to Lawrence-Lightfoot, at age forty-eight I am almost into the third chapter myself.

The meaningful takeaway is well summed up by someone else who accomplished much in the third chapter: “It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years [that matter]." Abraham Lincoln said that; he became president at age fifty-two.

Written by: T. Tamara Weinstein, March 16th 2010

Makeover TV: Selfhood, Citizenship, and Celebrity

admin — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:01:00 +0000

By Brenda R. Weber

Duke University Press

Makeovers are everywhere in today’s society, though I had never really given much thought to them until I read Brenda R. Weber’s Makeover TV. Weber points out that we are making over everything: bodies, houses, cars, hair, lifestyles, wardrobes, and even pets. Now that I am more sensitive to it, I realized we seem to be obsessed with change. Nearly every magazine cover focuses on how to change something (get better abs in thirty days) or someone who has already changed something (like Heidi Montag’s new body and face).

Televised makeovers are being consumed not only by those featured in the show, but also by a large viewing audience. What is emphasized throughout, no matter what the show, is that there are definitely the "right ways" and "wrong ways" to do things. The more you go with the flow and only stand out in ways that are determined to be aesthetically pleasing, the more people will love you and, therefore, the more you will love yourself.

The role of shame is emphasized in all of the makeover scenarios. Whether the people featured have nominated themselves or by friends and family, they are made to feel embarrassment for their actions. To simplify Weber’s well-crafted and researched prose, if one really cares about oneself, one wouldn’t let these things happen; one would keep a cleaner house, wear better fitting and trendy (but not flashy) clothes, weigh less, and have a nicer car, a more obedient child, and a well-trained pet. Once the shame has been heaped upon the person's head, the pieces are picked up and fashioned into a gender-normative, middle to upper middle class ideal of life.

Weber provides a critical analysis of makeover TV. The book isn’t light reading, as the text can be dense and often references academic studies, with an emphasis on the psychological; however, it is still accessible for non-specialized readers. She includes quotes from the shows and the occasional image to illustrate her points.

It was a bit scary to realize how right Weber is, and that so much “entertainment” on TV is focused on making people conform to the norm. Makeover TV is a good, eye-opening read.

Written by: Kristin Conard, March 12th 2010

Green Kids, Sage Families: The Ultimate Guide to Raising Your Organic Kids

admin — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 09:48:00 +0000

By Lynda Fassa

New American Library

We've come a long way since that 1970s TV commercial of a Native American crying at the sight of trash by the side of the road. Green living has finally gone mainstream. Lynda Fassa (author of Green Babies, Sage Moms) takes on the tykes and tweens in her latest, similarly titled, how-to guide on raising kids to be more conscious about treating their bodies, their homes, and the environment in a healthier, more ethical way: Green Kids, Sage Families

This is a great book chock-full of tips on how kids can help contribute to a greener world at home, in school, and beyond. Fassa offers ways to save money too, which is very appealing in this weak economy. Featuring advice on green toys, home repairs, organic snacks, what to ban from the house and garden, and even tips for throwing an eco-birthday party, Green Kids, Sage Families is accessible and creative in the ways in which it offers advice. The author also informs on how to save green by going green if you convert your home's power source to solar.

Of course, most of the book is directed to parents, teachers, and other childcare providers, so that they may become better role models for living the responsible, organic lifestyle. Green Kids, Sage Families is beautifully organized for easy dips in and out for specific topics and works as a very comprehensive guide to running a non-toxic household. It accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do by showing how to go green and protect your two most precious resources: your kids and the planet.

For those seeking writing that’s clean and concise about how to go green, Green Kids, Sage Families is your manual. It offers a well-balanced selection of tips, from basic and easy things you can do to those that are more cutting edge.

Written by: Cheryl Reeves, June 5th 2009