Knocked Up, Knocked Down: Postcards of Miscarriage and Misadventure from the Brink of Parenthood

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:01:00 +0000

This book is not just for those that have experienced a miscarriage. Let’s make that clear. Yes, Knocked Up, Knocked Down: Postcards of Miscarriage and Other Misadventures from the Brink of Parenthood is all about the journey of healing from the great loss of being pregnant, physically caring for this baby within, then suddenly having parenthood ripped from beneath you. It’s a horrendous experience. However, what this book does best is open up that harsh reality to everyone who has never experienced it. Too often those that suffer through miscarriage or stillbirth feel outcast. While people generally know how to react to the death of a family member or friend, the death of an unborn child is confusing territory. The worst: some people just don’t understand how terribly painful that loss is. Reading this book will change that.

Knocked Up, Knocked Down is a very personal account of Monica Murphy Lemoine’s experience of entering motherhood, but ending up without a baby. How do you heal from such a confusing and heartbreaking experience? While it’s different for everyone, Monica found that most of the grieving literature in regards to miscarriages and stillbirths wasn’t at all helpful. If anything, she found it to be patronizing and irritating. While she tried many of the suggestions, her journey of finding out for herself what helps and what just makes it worse is helpful for anyone in a similar circumstance or anyone wanting to understand those that are.

As far as the writing itself, with a jarring, crass beginning, and slow character development, it takes at least thirty pages before you even begin to feel like you’re truly getting to know the author. Even though she shares plenty of personal information right from the beginning, there’s not much of an introduction. The story begins forty-eight hours after her miscarriage, jumping right into the focus of this journey, but you feel like you’re playing catch up trying to get to know her.

Once you get about fifty pages into this 200 page book, it all starts to come together. All of the introductions are finally explained with sufficient back-story to feel like you personally know Monica and her husband Kevin. Once that’s in place, it’s easier to understand, relate, and feel great compassion for this couple as they try to heal from their loss. Is Knocked Up, Knocked Down a bit depressing? You bet. But will it give you new perspective? Absolutely! This book is completely worth the read.

You would think with miscarriages and stillbirth being as common as it is (as Monica points out, the International Stillbirth Alliance states that 4.5 million stillbirths occur worldwide each year), that this topic would be addressed more often. But the truth is, it’s not. Good for Monica helping others feel less alone and providing everyone else with the means to begin to comprehend. Plus, readers can continue to follow Monica through her blog. After reading her book, you are sure to wonder “What happens next?” and, fortunately, with her blog the journey continues.

Monica manages to bring you inside her world and allows you to share in her experiences, both the good and the bad, without making you feel like a voyeur. She opens up in a way that feels like family, a really close-knit and brutally honest family. No doubt you’ll walk away from reading her story a little wiser and much more empathetic.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, July 22nd 2010

Creating a Life: The Memoir of a Writer and Mom in the Making

admin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:00:00 +0000

By Corbin Lewars

Catalyst Book Press

Some books are pure pleasure, an escape, and others give us more to ponder. Some books allow us to reach down deep to the hidden place of our most private thoughts. Creating a Life is the latter kind.

Creating a Life is not just a memoir about giving birth to both a child and a life; it is a stunning tribute to the audacity it takes to reclaim one’s self. Corbin Lewars has given a voice to each and every woman who has experienced sexual abuse. One out of four girls has suffered childhood sexual abuse, a statistic provided in the introduction to warn the reader of the immensity of the author’s story.

In the beginning of the book, Lewars is honest about her obsession with having a baby. But her husband Jason is still deciding whether he wants a baby or not. In an attempt to satisfy her whirling emotions, she decides to get a Master’s degree while also remodeling her house. Her efforts do not quench her needs, and the reader is given glimpse after glimpse into her personal hell.

Jason finally agrees to procreate, and Lewars goes full steam into conception. The couple becomes pregnant in no time, only to lose the baby in the first trimester. Lewars enters an intense mourning period. Every memorable book has an instance when the reader experiences a point of light, and it was here that I began to engage with the author’s "real" story.

Lewars remembers a rape that occurred when she was twelve, a rape she had repressed since it happened. She comes to realize much of her dissatisfaction with her life is a byproduct of this denial. The memory of the rape sends her into therapy, where she promises to resolve her own issues before becoming a mother. With this clear plan, Lewars sets about fulfilling her quest to become whole. But the best made plans can change. She becomes pregnant again.

Creating a Life is one of the most exquisite and brave memoirs I have read in years. The message of hope and dedication is universal and steps outside the confines of the story itself, reaching women of all ages. As a writer, woman, and mother, I’m humbled by this beautiful, courageous book. Many life lessons are here for the learning.

Written by: Ann Hite, March 10th 2010