self-esteem

The Fatigue Prescription: Four Steps to Renewing Your Energy, Health, and Life

beth — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 08:00:00 +0000

In the style of many self-help books, Linda Hawes Clever, MD, is a product of and a subscriber to the program of renewal that she presents in her book. In the span of eighteen months, the physician endured the death of her parents, a home burglary, the loss of two jobs, and her husband’s cancer diagnosis. In the process of dealing with the impact of these traumatic events, Clever reached out to others who were interested in revamping their own lifestyles and ended up founding RENEW, a not-for-profit that “aims to help busy, devoted people sustain or regain enthusiasm, effectiveness, meaning and, yes, joy.” The Fatigue Prescription: Four Steps to Renewing Your Energy, Health, and Life brings together Clever's experience from her ten years of heading up the company and laying out a four pronged plan to recapture energy and motivation. Whether stress and fatigue stem from life-altering events or just daily life itself, Clever’s thorough, warm-hearted guide is intended to give readers the tools to ditch their ruts and find their groove.

Clever's writing is persistently optimistic and quippy. The book is brimming with quotables from both the author and other sources as diverse as Langston Hughes, South Pacific, Rumi, and Wendell Berry. The requisite checklists and brainstorming questions are laced with good humor. Clever's voice is a strong selling point for her The Fatigue Prescription. It makes you feel taken care of—you can tell Clever is a doctor with a warm and friendly bedside manner.

In fact, Clever's profession shapes her recommendations in many ways, bringing a unique and holistic focus to her prescription for better living. She includes extensive sections about taking care of your body and brain and backs up her advice by referencing, in plain English, various medical studies including a fascinating study about possible links between longevity and positive attitudes.

However, the book is still plagued by some of the familiar demons of the self-help genre. While Clever tries to keep things simple by outlining four steps to a fatigue remedy, the book wanders from this premise and spins new jargon that can get confusing: there are renew-o-meters, buff-o-meters, and three kinds of “buckets” for your self-esteem, worthiness, and energy. Also, the prescription metaphor, while catchy, doesn’t quite work to describe Clever's approach accurately and has to undergo some complex contortions to try to encompass all of the recommendations put forth by the author.

The Fatigue Prescription does offer inroads to making a change and plenty of positive affirmations. Clever writes a prescription for combating fatigue but she acknowledges that it’s not a magic pill you can pop and forget about. Her approach engages the reader in intense reflection and reevaluation of fundamental values and priorities in order to begin the journey towards rediscovering lost energy.

Written by: Jo Ristow, October 13th 2010

The Carrie Diaries

admin — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 08:00:00 +0000

By Candace Bushnell

Balzer and Bray

Sex and the City the television series ended six years ago. One might find this hard to believe, considering the characters and the lavish lifestyles they live have been far from gone in the mainstream media. The latest installment in the SATC enterprise is The Carrie Diaries, author Candace Bushnell’s young-adult novel that introduces audiences to Carrie Bradshaw as they’ve never seen her before—seventeen, virginal, and unsure of how to fulfill her dream becoming a writer. The young Bradshaw struggles through adolescence the same way her adult self struggled through her thirties, and with just as much, if not more, wit and insight. It’s easy to see how Carrie became Carrie as Bushnell chronicles a very real, and entertaining, teenage experience using the skills we’ve come to know her for: realistic dialogue, relatable, yet flawed, friendships; and capturing the excitement and emotion the first moments of love.

As a feminist scholar and critic, and an advocate for girl-friendly media, I was plagued by very familiar annoyances in the reading. Although adult Carrie admits in SATC (season four, episode seventeen) that her father left when she was a toddler, Bushnell posits high-school Carrie as the eldest of three girls being raised by their father since their mother died a few years earlier. Although a single dad raising three young women is certainly an alternative to the status-quo, it is not more or less feminist than a mother working full time and raising three daughters. And in the case of the latter, it provides something very important missing in both fiction and film—positive female role models.

The debate over Bushnell’s characters and their choices has been raging since the debut of the original series. In The Carrie Diaries, the author offers her own feminist commentary that is neither subtle, nor convincing. In a chapter dedicated to Carrie’s discovery of feminism, the twelve-year-old visits her local library to see her mother's favorite (fictional) feminist Mary Gordon Clark speak. The young Bradshaw is chagrined by the woman’s gruff and judgmental manner, leaving her to ponder “How can you be a feminist when you treat other women like dirt?” An excellent question, though I’d be interested in asking Bushnell “Why all feminists must be represented as angry, elite meanies?”

Unlike her adult counterpart, whose friendships offered support, honesty and resilience in the face of obstacles, the high school Carrie is surrounded by a group of friends that are competitive, highly emotional, or just plain bitchy. Her most passionate moments include falling for a narcissistic but gorgeous guy who eventually cheats on her with her best friend, developing her voice as a writer with the support of the Brown-attending George, and eventually being published in the school paper, with the help and support of the paper’s editor—her friend’s boyfriend.

As lover of pop-culture and an advocate for media literacy among the youth, especially girls, I was encouraged to find the positive elements of a story that will surely resonate with a large audience. Although Carrie’s mother is absent in reality, she is ever present in the lives of her daughters, all of which are struggling to maintain her legacy while evolving into who they will be as individuals. The biting yet quirky humor that endeared me to Carrie on SATC punctuates the tensest moments in the novel as Carrie offers teen-appropriate insights like, “Funny always makes the bad things go away.”

Unfortunately, comparing the young Carrie to the character she became on the series leaves me no less than disappointed. The Carrie created here comes out an evolved and matured being, moving forward into the next phase of her life, something that was remiss of her character when the SATC series ended, and further exacerbated in the following two films. In fact, I’d favor a film version of The Carrie Diaries over both SATC films.

Written by: Alicia Sowisdral, July 18th 2010

New Moon Girls (The Beauty Issue)

admin — Sat, 01 May 2010 12:00:00 +0000

New Moon Girls

If you’re a parent or a person who interacts with and cares about children, you might have noticed some worrisome trends, especially among girls. I have seen girls as young as seven show concerns over “getting fat” or being unpopular. Bullying, body image conflict, and other issues seem to be plaguing young women earlier and earlier.

Most women who call themselves feminists would agree that enriching the younger generation is crucial. The statistics on young girls today are disturbing: according to the National Institute on Media and the Family, forty percent of girls between nine and ten surveyed had tried to lose weight. The NIMF also published study results that stated the following: “One in every three articles in leading teen girl magazines also included a focus on appearance, and most of the advertisements (fifty percent) used an appeal to beauty to sell their products.” This is getting serious, folks. We cannot continue to feed our daughters this kind of messaging and then wonder why rates for eating disorders and low self-esteem are so high. That said, I think it can sometimes be hard to give these girls positive messages that are digestible and make sense at their level. Who wants to listen to boring old parents anyway?

Thankfully there are forms of media to help. If your daughter, sister, or friend is drawn to magazines, hide their latest issue of Teen Beat and replace it with New Moon Girls. The magazine has so many fun sections that she will hardly miss it. New Moon puts a spin on traditional magazine sections to make them even more relevant for girls. Instead of a Letter from the Editor being written by an adult, girls who helped work on the magazine write it. The advice column provides advice from—you guessed it—girls. The entire magazine focuses not only on giving girl readers good content but also in making sure that it is credible and relevant by getting it from the very girls New Moon targets. Simply put, this magazine is genius.

The Beauty Issue (May-June 2010) is full of positive messaging and reinforcement, something girls today often lack from the media. The issue contains features on beauty including how to boost your body confidence, your favorite body part, and a piece on inner beauty, as well as short fiction. The idea of beauty is tackled from every possible angle, giving girls an opportunity to discover what they like most about themselves rather than showing them yet another picture of female celebrities and models.

I am encouraged and thrilled about magazines like New Moon Girls and my hope is that they will continue to compete with more mainstream magazines for the attention of young girls. (Hint: They can’t do so without our support!) This magazine is for anyone who wants a girl in his or her life to know just how special she is.

Written by: April D. Boland, May 1st 2010

Love Your Body, Love Your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidently

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:01:00 +0000

By Sarah Maria

Adams Media

I have not had a good relationship with my body over the years. I was underweight during adolescence and early adulthood, then freaked out when I started to gain weight during my senior year of college. I also could not understand why my friends were telling me I looked fine when I felt I was overweight. After reading Sarah Maria's book, Love Your Body, Love Your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidently, I realize I had been living with Negative Body Obsession (NBO). According to Maria, “NBO is a condition marked by a near-constant critical rumination on one's appearance.”

Maria does an excellent job with this self-help book, taking the reader through all the steps to help her realize how she is viewing her body, and what she can do to stop NBO from taking over her life. The book follows a five step program: the first step is to step up a powerful intention, where the reader identifies what she wants regarding her body and food. The second step is for the reader to identify her negative thoughts and replacing them with positive body thoughts; instead of thinking “I am so fat,” the negative body reaction is changed to “I am inherently beautiful.” The third step involves finding the true person on the inside. The fourth step has the reader befriending her body through meditation, laughter, music, and other “healing” methods. This culminates in the fifth step where the reader lives for a purpose by focusing on the things she is good at , setting goals, and helping other people. Maria goes into great detail with each of the steps, with exercises and inspirational stories.

The tone of the entire book is uplifting, and Maria writes in a warm, inviting tone that helps the reader in this self-help journey. What was appealing to me was Maria's reference to different scientific research, such as psychology and physics : if she was referring to a particular method, such as how intentions can change an outlook on life, she backed everything up with multiple studies. All of the studies she refers to are listed in the resource section.

The steps that Maria uses to help readers to overcome body issues are helpful for other problems. I found myself tackling abuse issues from my past, which were also tied into some of the issues with my body. Love Your Body, Love Your Life definitely puts a new perspective on body image, and can be a helpful tool for anyone who has been struggling with self-image, food, and weight.

Written by: Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch, February 15th 2010

The Late Bloomer's Revolution

admin — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 09:26:00 +0000

By Amy Cohen

Hyperion

Cute chick + NYC + media job + boyfriend troubles + comedically quirky friends and family + insipid metaphors + lightbulb moment resolution = book deal! Next, it will surely be opening at a multiplex near you.

This read was so formulaic I had to remind myself that The Late Bloomer's Revolution is actually a memoir, not fictitious chick lit. We all know too well the irritating law of chick lit bestsellerdom: a free-spirited, but still safely conventional, damsel must learn to balance career, relationship, and self-esteem in the glamorous paradise of the Big Apple while watching out for charming, narcissistic, Prada-clad snakes! To make sure I did not forget this book's classification come review-writing time, I actually stuck a yellow sticky flag under the very, very lightly printed "A Memoir" that appears teeny-tiny over the author's very, very boldfaced name.

Perhaps it's because I truly love a deeply moving memoir that I find a book like this one to be a fluffball wafting around in a genre that once had at least a couple of anti-glib gatekeepers. However snobby and cranky that might sound, let me add that Amy Cohen's sharply observant, empathic, and witty writing style somewhat refreshes this 'single and scared silly' story, which turns out to be a securely strapped-in ride on the bourgeois emotional roller coaster. (Big Daddy always hovers in the background like a safety net).

The story opens with one of the book's best characters: Amy's wonderfully wise, laugh-out-loud funny and intellectually curious mother. Unfortunately, she and her fantastically original dialogue exit the stage all too soon, struck down by cancer. At the same time as her mother's death, Amy suffers through the loss of Josh, the man she thought she was going to marry, who ends up marrying a cartoon femme with the requisite big boobs. As the story continues, regular gal, imperfectly attired, small bosomed Amy's woes are compounded with the loss of her job as a television writer, several terrible dating experiences, and a crummy, dark, claustrophic apartment.

Amy's journey toward adult independence begins in her mid-thirties. She suddenly finds that it's time for her to learn to confront fears and take charge of her life—alone... as a woman... alone... in the lipstick jungle... alone... without a diamond ring on her finger. Did I mention, alone? So what does our heroine do? She learns how to ride a bike. For Amy, bike riding (a pat metaphor for balance) is a major phobia, having never learned as an urban-bred child. The realization here is that Amy is still able to enjoy life without being married because she conquered one big fear.

Less a journey through profound grief (which would have been a richer story), The Late Bloomer's Revolution anchors itself with a fear of spinsterhood, insidiously fostering this fear. Entertaining and well-written, yes. Will you like plucky Amy? Definitely! Will you forget this novel-memoir as soon as you put it down? Unfortunately, I think so.

Written by: Cheryl Reeves, October 15th 2008

Your Life Your Way: The Essential Guide for Women

admin — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:17:00 +0000

By Lynn Hull, Julie Molner

Marsh Hall International Publishing Corporation

Think life ends when turning fifty? Writers Lynn Hull and Julie Molner believe it’s only the beginning when dreams become reality. In Your Life Your Way: The Essential Guide for Women, these professional co-active coaches want every woman to push aside their insecurities and stand up for a more satisfying life. Unlike most self-help books where authors merely give advice, Hull and Molner create exercises that not only evaluate the living situations of females, but also provide a hands-on approach in completing any goal, no matter how big.

Not even the Atlantic Ocean could have separated two mature women from discovering the secrets behind living it up at fifty and beyond. Molner, a Michigan resident, and Hull, who’s British and living in the Hautes Pyrenees region of France, have more in common than just age. Both are wives and mothers who, after meeting in a co-active leadership program, united to share their personal struggles with aging. In the chapter “The Perfect Time—How Can That Be?” they explain when’s the best time to live: “You’ve learned a great deal about what works for you, what doesn’t; what satisfies you, what disappoints. Sometimes, however, we don’t notice what makes us feel good; we dismiss something because it doesn’t fit our concept of how things should be.”

Through revealing personal experiences, such as Hull’s determination to get a Masters at forty-eight and the death of Molner’s grandson, they encourage readers to peak into their many joys and struggles, while discovering practical tips in tackling anything from breast cancer to becoming a shaman. Can your shrink do that for less than $20?

The heart of Your Life Your Way is in the well-organized exercises that don’t just list easy answers to life’s unpredictable scenarios, but demand you take action for happiness. The book starts from the simple “List ten or more things you’ve wanted to do,” to the thought-triggering “In what ways am I honoring my values on a daily basis?” However, don’t expect to expose your emotions in journal entries alone. The authors want women to say out loud what disappoints them, plan out ways to celebrate their current successes, and meditate, no fancy yoga class required. Some exercises may be uncomfortable to face, such as “What’s your reason for buying cosmetics?” as well as the realities of friendships. “These perspectives on friendship certainly help us see that not all people are sent our way for life…and that makes it OK to let go when the time is right,” they explain.

Forget being “the new thirty,” and do exactly what Eleanor Roosevelt, Dame Judi Dench, and helicopter flying grandma Jennifer Murray have done: Be fifty and damn proud of it. With Hull and Molner’s no-nonsense, but highly encouraging guidance, along with a collective of real-life anecdotes and inspirational, stimulating exercises, you’ll be ready to tackle life at any stage. Trips to the self-help aisle in your local bookstore don’t have to be embarrassing, and with Your Life Your Way, getting older means getting ready to live.

Written by: Stephanie Nolasco, April 16th 2008

Life Skills: Improve the Quality of Your Life with Metapsychology

admin — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 20:00:00 +0000

By Marian K. Volkman

Loving Healing Press

Life Skills serves as a great introduction to the nebulous field of metapsychology, a variation on the newly popular field of positive psychology. The book attempts to use the tools of psychoanalysis to provide a guide for emotional self-improvement. And it succeeds. With chapters focusing on broad quality of life issues, treatment of traumatic stress (not the diagnosable Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which really should be treated by a professional, but the everyday trauma we all have faced), understanding emotion, improving relationships and enhancing life awareness, this book provides a broad approach to life-improvement without feeling like anything is missing.

Every psychological term is well defined for a lay audience. The layout, with bullets, boxed quotes, and effective use of bolding, is interesting and engaging. Frequent exercises are also engaging; this reviewer couldn’t help but work several as I attempted to read the book cover-to-cover. This book is worth your time and is worth taking time to really explore the exercises.

Written by: Janine Peterson Wonnacott, March 7th 2007

Girls Speak Out: Finding Your True Self

admin — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 13:38:00 +0000

By Andrea Johnson

Celestial Arts

Founded in 1994, The Girls Speak Out Foundation for girls ages 9-15 is the brain-child of Andrea Johnson and Gloria Steinem. The second edition of Girls Speak Out: Finding Your True Self incorporates the interactive exercises, vignettes, poems, short stories, etc. brought to you by budding feminists who have participated in the program. The scheme of this program and of this book is two fold. One objective is to amass stories of soul searching of a group of girls, while the other is to inspire more girls to magnify their struggles and triumphs in a heteronormative world. In this book, girls "speak out" about topics that are traditionally "reserved" for adulthood. These young women exercise their girl power as they challenge male supremacy and the latent subjugation of women instituted by marriage, motherhood, religion, and education. The strength of this text is the juxtaposition of its language and subject material—accessible to the targeted age group but sophisticated and readable enough for women of all ages. This book may not stand out on the shelves without purposeful exhibition, but hopefully, Girls Speak Out will make its way into the hands of young girls around the globe with the help of veteran feminists. The content of the book is piecemeal and Johnson and Steinem could stand to use a work like Our Bodies Our Selves as a paradigmatic design for subsequent editions. In the forward and introduction, Steinem and Johnson allude to their hopes that mothers, "other mothers," aunts, and older sisters will pick up this book, review it and pass it along. Girls Speak Out covers a broad range of topics from women’s global history to maintenance of self-esteem within sexist social systems. Johnson provides a useful annotated bibliography at the back of the book. This list incorporates a culturally diverse set of authors that some young women may never encounter in public school. Look out Girl Scout leaders of America! The young women of The Girls Speak Out Foundation have seized the torch of feminism from Johnson and Steinem. Peddling cookies is not on the agenda.

Written by: Aaron Nugua, December 20th 2006

The Woman’s Belly Book

admin — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 19:58:00 +0000

By Lisa Sarasohn

New World Library

The title made me laugh. After all, I am a woman with a belly upon which childbirth and a lack of exercise have left their marks. Like countless women, I love to loathe it. However, the uplifting tone of the author, Lisa Sarasohn, (also a public speaker, yoga instructor and bodywork therapist) has changed my outlook on my pudgy pooch and may do the same for others. Boosting vitality, releasing stress, revving up one’s sex life and sensuality, plus even increasing confidence are many of the goals Sarasohn aims to accomplish through suggested yoga-based exercises, journaling and crafting. Noting that this is "not a self improvement program," The Woman’s Belly Book celebrates a woman’s curves, the pleasures of estrogen, enjoying food and keying into our "gut" reactions, otherwise known as intuition. While "loving your belly is a strange idea," writes Sarasohn, it is a treasure to be claimed. Readers will delight in the array of activities presented. Directions are easy enough that anyone can invite fellow belly-haters to join her in the "Decorating Your Underwear" prompt, instead of going to the gym to tame the tummy with crunches galore. Particularly inspiring is the "If My Stomach Were Flat" writing exercise where one lists what she would do if her stomach were perfect. This statement leads the reader to explore the core of what her desires truly are. For instance, she may learn that it is not a flat stomach she desires, but rather acceptance and value from those in her circle or beyond. In essence, it’s a self-worth issue, not a belly issue! From toning the perineum, which is the belly’s lower border to developing hara (life energy) power through breathing, many of the physical exercises highlight the medical functions and miracles of the stomach and closely linked organs. The philosophy is that a healthy, loved belly (not a girdled and constrained one) ensures a more pleasurable lifestyle. _The Woman’s Belly Book _uncovers a path to inner-healing, exploring feminine power and honoring just how strong a woman’s belly is. It’ll make readers view their tummies with a smile instead of a pout.

Written by: Ayesha Gallion, December 2nd 2006