survivor

Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor: More Rebellion and Fire or Your Healing Journey

admin — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:03:00 +0000

Kris Carr was diagnosed with chronic cancer and instead of sitting around and waiting to die, she began to really live. She reshaped her life from the inside physically and mentally. Her first book was Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips and this follow up book gives the reader more support and inspiration.

I do not have cancer, but I found incredible strength and numerous fabulous ideas in this book. Many of the lessons and advice from Carr can be taken by anyone. There are a number of exercises and tasks to do, and blank pages are left to answer the prompts given. I particularly liked the following: “How do you find stability in the midst of unsafety?” and “What does the woman or man you desire to become look like?”

Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor is peppered with plenty of attitude and humor from Carr, and quotes from famous writers and philosophers are throughout. Carr seems like a trusted friend and adviser, but one who doesn’t take herself too seriously. She looks to her support system—doctors, friends, and her mother—to write brief essays on diet, meditation, and beauty tips.

Many of the ideas seem like common sense, yet it is easy to get bogged down into repetitive and destructive ways of thinking. Writing this as a woman who hasn’t been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, I can only imagine that challenge is multiplied for cancer patients. Carr reminds us to break out of these patterns, get off our butts, and make things better for ourselves. No one else is going to do it for us, and as she says, we are the CEOs of our own lives.

Carr's website has more support and tips. There are continual updates on physical, emotional, and mental well being, but if you don’t just want to read about how to change your lifestyle, the website gives you the tools to change your physical self as well. Carr recommends juicers, water test kits, raw foods, vitamins, yoga mats, body wash, essential oils, lubricant, and even saunas! Also posted online are Carr's upcoming workshops and events; her passion for life in her book is inspiring, so in person, I’m guessing she’s pretty incredible!

Written by: Kristin Conard, October 7th 2009

The Adventures of Cancer Bitch

admin — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 08:48:00 +0000

By S. L. Wisenberg

University of Iowa Press

Laying it out there with stunning realness, incorporating funny yet saddening as well as humorous but serious moments, S. L. Wisenberg presents blog entries of her journey through breast cancer discovery, surgery, and recovery in The Adventures of Cancer Bitch. Sharing many—if not all—of her life’s vulnerable moments with the reader, the author demonstrates the humanness of living through cancer.

Illuminating but difficult experiences fill Wisenberg’s writing. She delves into self-absorption as well as utter hysterics due to her bare bones admittance of recovery drugs and daily living through the painful process. As a reader, it is easy to feel her stress and sympathize as if you are on the sofa next to her as she wallows in her pain. This pain does not make Wisenberg bitchy; on the contrary, it reveals her true character questioning the world around her and why the commodified pink ribbons have become a "catch-all" for the destructive disease we all encounter at some point in our lives.

In addition, Wisenberg feeds background to the reader: both her Jewish culture and Texas childhood pop up at different moments throughout the book. These points give Wisenberg even more credibility and realness as she elaborates on her mother, her attendance at seder, her self-proclaimed yuppiness, and her interactions with close friends who lost their son to cancer at a very young age. Literary allusions as well as other anecdotal stories lend a substantive and creative fill to the book.

I found myself laughing at the author's antics while dealing with the seriousness of her condition, and I found myself sobbing at points where her depression and darkness haunts her recovery through chemotherapy. Weisenberg is so real. I find her journey an adventure indeed, but her "bitch" title more of a friend who puts it out there, no lies, no holds barred. Folks, if you have cancer, you may attest that this person's story is very close to yours.

Written by: Carolyn Espe, August 7th 2009

Dreamer

admin — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:20:00 +0000

Directed by Phillip Forsyth

Shut the Door Productions

From the beginning, Dreamer appears to be a film about a man traveling backwards in time. Daniel, the main character, is a 30-year-old white man living in Chicago. As he struggles to make sense of this reverse sequence of events, Daniel’s awareness and motivation falter. He is unable to follow-up with a needed job opportunity. He wakes up beside a woman he does not recognize. Another morning, he finds himself bleeding profusely from a wound on his side without apparent cause. At the end of the film, we learn that Daniel is a war veteran who served for three years, and is presumably suffering from PTSD.

In terms of technical highs and lows, the strength of Dreamer is the film’s visual landscape. The shots of Chicago’s cityscape—as Daniel stands on a bridge over the Chicago River, or walks past an outdoor sculpture—are beautiful and eerie in the evening darkness. The camera work was well done and a cut above most other aspects of the film. On the flip side, the primary technical issue that interfered with my viewing was the audio content. Due to the high level of background noise, many of the scenes were inaudible to me.

From a feminist perspective, I was disappointed that Dreamer does not subvert or challenge gender norms. This portrayal of a modern-day war veteran did not deepen my empathy for Daniel and was, in fact, quite problematic. The main character is a portrait of normative masculinity throughout the film, without sufficient character development. When Daniel catches up with an old friend, small talk turns to the subject of “pussy.” When he stumbles upon a dodgy character, the stranger and Daniel get into a fistfight in an alley. Perhaps most disappointing is that the movie ends with Daniel making a rapid escape following the second night spent with a woman who has already given him a second chance.

After this closing scene, there is a dedication to American veterans who served in the armed forces. However, by the end of the film, I felt less compassion for the veteran than the woman he has disrespected yet again. Furthermore, was this closing to suggest that if Daniel had not been traumatized by the war, he would have behaved otherwise? I am not entirely convinced. Instead I wondered: how has the war actually shaped who Daniel is? How did this affect his expression of masculinity? What potential has Daniel been unable to realize since the war left him with a debilitating mental illness? Portraying the main character in a one-dimensional manner makes it difficult to answer these questions. Dreamer is a film that normalizes oppressive constructs of masculinity, albeit in a society that fails to provide adequate support to war veterans.

Written by: Kathryn Berg, June 22nd 2009

Support Zine

admin — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 12:57:00 +0000

Edited by Cindy Crabb

Microcosm Publishing

“How do you define consent? Have you ever talked about consent with your partner(s) or friends? Do you know people, or have you ever been with people who define consent differently than you do?”

Thus begins one of the best zines I have ever read on the subject of healing from sexual abuse. This zine is specifically geared towards friends, lovers and allies of survivors, and is written in an accessible, loving, realistic way, including writing and comics by a dozen or so contributors who are healing from or supporting others with abuse histories (many have experienced both). Their words are painful, but also comforting for those of us who have struggled in this realm – the message is not tragic, it is one of hope and community and, well, support.

Topics include: consent, boundaries, triggers, dissociation, power dynamics, survivor guilt, recovering from trauma, flashbacks, staying present, confronting rapists, denial, panic attacks, and more. Being in the middle of these experiences can feel out of control and indefinable, making it impossible to communicate with a partner, especially if they are taking it personally. So having these words to consult and share could really make a difference. The advice is straight-forward and specific, while still relying on your intuitive and empathic powers, which makes the healing journey feel more like an adventure and less like torture, no matter how painful it is.

“It’s okay for us to have to work hard at what other people take for granted. The goal is not to return to some arbitrary centerpoint of normalcy from which we were robbed as children. We are not deviants. The goal is to heal, to be on a continuum of healing,” writes Chris Somerville in his essay, “Safe Sex for Survivors.”

While we’re all aware that most sexual abuse happens to girls at the hands of men, this zine also includes a lot of writing from the perspective of male survivors, and several stories of men being pressured into sex by women, which I’ve rarely heard talked about. Also, this zine manages to avoid demonizing abusers while holding everyone accountable for recognizing power dynamics and honoring other people’s boundaries. In one piece, the editor writes about the fucked up act of initiating sex with a sleeping person, and admits to having done this herself:

“Do they think about our abuse histories? Or the fact that we can’t say “no” when we’re asleep? Do they understand our complex defense systems and how vulnerable and terrified we might feel waking up to this assault? … The truth is, I used to crawl in people’s beds too. I thought of course all guys wanted it. I never considered the fact that I might be capable of assault. But of course, I am. A lot of us are.”

Whether or not you think you need it, whether or not you’re a survivor, or dating a survivor, or even having sex, you would probably benefit from reading this zine. And the people you choose to be intimate with will probably thank you for making their safety a priority.

Written by: Nomy Lamm, January 17th 2007