wedding

Daniel & Ana

admin — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Daniel & Ana is an opinion piece, the film equivalent of an op-ed. While it is a forgone assumption that a film will represent the opinion of its authors and that every film necessarily adopts a particular point-of-view on its subjects, Daniel & Ana endorses a position.

Daniel & Ana assumes an expository stance, occupying the characters lives in an effort to discuss an issue bigger than they are. This film discusses underground pornography; the analysis is not on the macro level of an industry or the societal impact of the industry on Mexico, but rather on the micro level, this is a case study of this particular pair of siblings.

The course of the film follows the older sister Ana, as she prepares for her wedding, and trails the younger brother Daniel as he exists, for the most part, in his sister’s wake. For most of the film, their relationship is relatively normal. When the siblings begin behaving oddly, their parents suspect nothing, seeing the strains in the siblings’ relationship as a result of the wedding, and nothing more. Ana and Daniel are nothing if not predictable.

While Ana is the central character, the film revolving most directly around the events in her life (despite the parallel surveillance of Daniel), she is not fully formed as a character. Ana is object more than she is subject. Not only is Ana objectified as a sightly woman throughout: not only by the comments of Daniel’s friend saying that she is doable and of the cameraman for the porno saying she is hot; not only by her rape which is a sort of ultimate objectification; but, by the movie itself, by the shallow presentation of her character. In this film Ana is only ever acted upon. As dutiful sister, daughter, and girlfriend, she only causes concern when she temporarily cancels the wedding. The wedding sets the tone of the piece, it determines what is normal, what roles each character is to play, and what behaviors are acceptable. Ana reinstates the wedding in a search for refuge; the wedding is a return to normalcy and an escape from everything else. Everything will end with the wedding.

Written by: Elisheva Zakheim, August 27th 2010

Savor the Moment

admin — Thu, 06 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

By Nora Roberts

Berkley Trade

Sometimes when I finish a book, I can't help but feel that the experience has made me better in some way. Maybe that sounds really cheesy, but it's true. That's one of my favorite things about reading great classic literature: it just leaves you awestruck. I loved the wildness of Wuthering Heights, the subtle, brilliant emotions of Jane Eyre, the intricate story of A Tale of Two Cities, and the straight-up genius wit of Les Liaisons dangereuse.

There are modern writers who can move me, too, like in My Sister's Keeper. Avid readers know this. This is why we read. And then there are some books that, after you read them, you feel like part of your brain has been lobotomized. I give you Nora Roberts' Savor the Moment.

Maybe that sounds harsh, but I think it's justified. I like Nora Roberts, I really do. I've read almost all of her books. I've come to expect a formulaic, predictable story from her, but I'm okay with that. Hell, that's precisely why I read the romance genre in general. What I'm not okay with her trying to sell me shit. And I'm sorry, but that's what she's doing in this Bride Quartet series.

I wasn't particularly kind to the last installment in this series, Bed of Roses, but again, I was justified. Emma was effing annoying, and the way that Roberts expected the reader to accept that her behavior was rational and not insulting to all women was insulting to all women. I had hopes that the rest of the books would be better because my biggest problem with Bed of Roses was Emma's perfect life. Laurel, the heroine in Savor the Moment, is not perfect. But does Roberts delve into Laurel's issues in any depth? Does Roberts show us anything about Laurel outside of her love for the hero, Del? No. Seriously, folks, she doesn't. Laurel apparently has a background that I would have liked to learn about. But I never got that chance.

Come on, Nora. It's bad enough that you're writing four books about freakin' weddings. As if the wedding industry in this country isn't absolutely ridiculous in the way that they put all the focus on one day, you give us four women who make their livelihood out of catering to these self-absorbed people.

Not only that, but you present them in a really annoying way. These women never make freakin' mistakes. Ever. They always know exactly how to talk down a bride, or exactly which flowers they'll like, or exactly what cake they'll want. Every. Single. Time. Throw in some screw-ups every once in a while and we'll talk.

The worst is Mac, the photographer. This woman sounds like the kind of photographer that makes me hulk out. In the first book she did a pregnancy session where she made the pregnant lady get naked. Anyone who knows me knows I hate those kind of pictures with a passion that will never die. And I'm sorry, Nora, but it sounds like Mac has little to no imagination as a photographer. The bride is a florist? Let's shoot her in a garden! The groom is an English teacher? Let's shoot him with books! The couple met as children and shared a fondness for cookies? Let's shoot them with cookies! Please. I know wedding photographers that do amazing, amazing work and never result to that unimaginative shit.

But your worst transgression is the complete and utter failure to portray these women in a real way. They are obsessed with weddings, and even when the four friends are together, all they talk about is work or relationships. Oh, yeah, and sex. These women never shut up about sex. When they have it, they have to make mention of it. When they're not having it, they make mention of the others having it. Seriously, I don't know women like this. Don't they ever talk about important stuff? Current events, the economy, feminism, celebrity gossip, books they've read, etc? Nope. Just men. And weddings. And sex with men.

Look, I get that you've got a theme here. Each woman in this series needs to get a man in each installment of the series. But for the love of God, what is wrong with dating for a while? Emma and Laurel were with their respective men for about two months tops before they're distraught over whether or not the men want to be with them forever. For fuck's sake, what is the rush? Why can't a couple admit that they're in love more than five minutes before a marriage proposal?

As you can tell, I did not like this book. At all. But I will still read the last book, because I'm a masochist. And an optimist. Parker, the last heroine to be paired up, has the potential to be more multidimensional than all her man-crazy friends. She also comes across as truly independent and strong. But Nora, you've gotta step it up. You're getting lazy, here. Don't think we haven't noticed.

Cross-posted at The Bookshelf

Written by: Lindsey Simon, May 6th 2010

The Paper Bride: Wedding DIY from Pop-the-Question to Tie-the-Knot and Happily Ever After

admin — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 16:01:00 +0000

By Esther K. Smith

Potter Craft

Weddings are expensive. CNN Money states that, even with the recession, the average cost of a wedding in 2008 was $21,814. Paper goods, like invitations, save-the-date cards, and guest books can add up—so why not make them yourself? Esther Smith's instructional how-to book, The Paper Bride, goes over absolutely everything you need to make a wedding the way you want.

The Paper Bride starts with a cute proposal idea—a ring hidden in a book—and moves onto alternative ways to let people know you are engaged: postcard, magnets, or even traditional save-the-date cards, but with funky envelopes and mailers. Smith comes up with out of the ordinary ideas for invitations and bridal showers. Not a fan of finger sandwiches? How about a liquor shower, where each guest brings one bottle for the party and one bottle for your liquor cabinet. The book truly sticks to its name, even showing off a paper wedding dress.

Smith's background is in letterpress, so she goes into great depth about making your own books and journals, and even has a chart for doing calligraphy yourself. If you have never done paper crafts before, don't worry: Smith goes over each step in detail, and provides diagrams that even a first time DIYer can follow. In the back of book, there are templates for making envelopes, boxes, program fans, and coasters. Some of the crafts are offbeat, like making paper flowers, while others are great even if you aren't planning a wedding, such as making your own photo album.

The great thing about The Paper Bride is that Smith emphasizes putting your own style into your wedding. If you're not into the traditional white wedding, then you can design your paper goods to reflect that. No matter what type of wedding you're having, this book has something you can use. But as Smith reminds her readers, the wedding day should not be the pinnacle of the relationship: “it will be wonderful, whatever happens, but it shouldn't be the happiest day of your life. You don't want the rest of your life to go downhill from there. You want to live happily ever after!”

Written by: Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch, April 4th 2010

Our Family Wedding

admin — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:01:00 +0000

Directed by Rick Famuwiya

Fox Searchlight

Welcome to the new post-racial America, where at long last African Americans and Latinos can star together in a major studio movie every bit as crappy as anything White people have ever done. Our Family Wedding is... notable only for the racial composition of the cast… (Corey Hall, Metro Times)

Cultures…clash in [this] cartoonish feature about the nuptials of a Mexican American daddy’s girl (America Ferrera) and an African American doctor (Lance Gross)… Plodding predictably through family introductions…the movie leaves no racial stereotype or stale joke unturned. (Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times)

Lucia and Marcus make a charming couple…[If director Rick Famuyiwa had focused this film] just [on] them, it might [have been] a sweet little romance. But because Marcus is Black and Lucia is Mexican American, this strained comedy focuses on the culture clash between the two families—particularly the fathers [Forest Whitaker and Carlos Mencia]. The script…runs through the dumbest racial stereotypes and idiotic sight gags… You'll wish Lucia and Marcus had eloped and taken you with them. (Sean P. Mean, Salt Lake Tribune)

While it's true that culture clashes have long been a staple element of wedding movies, Our Family Wedding… lazily [recycles] from The In-Laws, Meet the Parents, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding… (Jason Anderson, Toronto Star)

Our Family Wedding manages to be offensive to African Americans, Latinos, women, men, and sentient life forms of any kind…The only real connection the audience will have is with the actors, not the characters, as we ask ourselves over and over how so many talented people got stuck in this mess. (Nell Minow, Beliefnet)

At this point, you are probably wondering why I chose to extensively quote other movie reviewers rather than come up with something on my own. To be honest, I found myself in a situation where I thought I was going to rip this film to shreds by drawing some fresh and original conclusion, only to find out that a kajillion other more experienced and articulate people had done it first—and better.

These other reviewers are absolutely right in their assessments of Our Family Wedding; the fact they represent such a diverse range of media and geographical areas makes their opinions seem even more correct to me. To add insult to injury, this movie doesn’t even rise to the level of it’s-so-bad-it’s-good, as it telegraphs all its (weak) punches. Seriously, what made the three screenwriters think that a goat eating Viagra was funny? For that matter, when was the last time you saw a goat in a comedy that didn’t eat something it wasn’t supposed to eat?

I just saved you a lot of aggravation. You owe me. (Kam Williams, The Sly Fox)

Written by: Ebony Edwards-Ellis, March 15th 2010

ARUSI Persian Wedding

admin — Thu, 21 May 2009 14:20:00 +0000

Directed by Marjan Tehrani

Women Make Movies

In ARUSI Persian Wedding, Marjan Tehrani trails her brother Alex and his wife Heather as they prepare to wed in Iran. In fact, the couple is wed twice in the film—making it thrice in total. One wedding is in preparation—so they may travel as husband and wife—and the traditional ceremony that ends the film, which is the point of the documentary, is the couple's second on-screen wedding.

Tehrani touches ever-so-briefly on themes that would have given the movie more impact had they been explored further. Homecoming is a central theme of the movie, but its possibilities and consequences are not explored in depth. The insider-outsider dilemma that haunts immigrants who return to their country of origin and the responses from those left in Iran is not touched in the film.

Tehrani incorporates historical footage and explanations of the past into the narrative as a way to broach some of the political tension in the film. A few possibilities for firestorms rise, but pass quickly, left only as a footnote. The first time Heather meets Alex’s parents they argue briefly about the relationship between Iran and the Bush Administration. Later in the film, Alex speaks with an Iranian newspaperman about some of the country's political issues: freedom of the press and the inevitable question of Iran-US relations. Mostly, the issues of politics and restrictions are not addressed; they are consciously skirted and barely analyzed. Instead, it is the heat that is blamed for the irritation and discomfort.

Women’s issues are mentioned briefly when the couple encounters an all-female tourist group (which the viewer is led to believe is Iranian, though this is never entirely confirmed or denied) at an Iranian resort town. The tourist group is the only interaction the filmmaker includes with women who are subjected to the rules of Iranian culture and laws of the country. This was an opportunity for Tehrani to take a deeper look at what it means to be a woman in Iran; however, the presentation is vapid because she and Heather are unable or unwilling to push beyond simply getting a few young women to say they would rather live in the US. They are not questioned further, but their peer who responded that she would remain in Iran was: her answer was to remain in her homeland.

ARUSI Persian Wedding was different from what I expected, which colored how I saw the film. It paints a cotton candy picture in the aesthetic of a stylized home movie, utilizing old reels of Marjan's and Alex’s mother that, when narrated by Marjan's encouraging and optimistically pensive voiceover, that lend it a campfire atmosphere. Tehrani missed many opportunities to educate or tell a more complete story throughout the film, and ultimately, it felt like an unfinished product.

Written by: Elisheva Zakheim, May 21st 2009

Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 13:00:00 +0000

By Jessica Valenti

Seal Press

Jessica Valenti is a part of the feminist blogger elite, and for good reason. The blog she helped to establish, Feministing.com, receives a significant amount of web traffic and is well-known among young, internet savvy, hip feminists. Full disclosure: I read Feministing every now and then. Having read Valenti’s writing on the blog—which tends to be oversimplified and, quite frankly, bratty—I was hoping her analysis in book form would show a tad more depth. Unfortunately for Valenti, there’s a downside to fame; it opens you up for public criticism.

If Full Frontal Feminism is supposed to be the spark that ignites young women to claim their identity as "feminists" and hop aboard the Third Wave train, then women are in deep trouble. Valenti writes like feminism's version of Ann Coulter, and let’s face it, Ann Coulter is hardly known for her intelligent commentary. Flamboyant and egotistical, much of Valenti’s analysis is trite, at best. She makes sweeping generalizations (“When you’re a feminist, day to day life is better. You make better decisions. You have better sex.”), repeatedly refers to her opponents by juvenile names ("The consequence of having the last name Buttars is apparently being a huge asshole."), confuses “truth” with “opinion,” and seems to have done very little actual research to back up her claims, as very few citations accompany her assertions.

At times, she doesn’t feel the need to make an assertion at all, responding with a facile yet grandiose “Puke,” a deliberately ironic “Yeah,” or a pithy “Terrifying,” as though this is all that she needs to make her case. And despite hackneyed attempts every now and again to mention other marginalized groups, the truth is that this book overwhelmingly reflects the viewpoint of its white, middle class, (I assume) heterosexual, entitled, American, liberal feminist writer.

Valenti doesn’t give her readers credit for being able to do the thing she most wants them to do: think critically. This is apparent in the fallacious style by which she presents her perspectives. My personal favorite—taken straight from the right wing, talk radio instruction manual—is how Valenti uses the bait-and-switch tactic to “prove” her point (e.g., contending that anti-abortion advocates simply hate sex). A close second is when she uses the most extreme cases to illustrate a point as though they aren’t the exception to the rule (e.g., making the case for all women to have access to Emergency Contraception because rape victims should have access to it). These tactics are most unfortunate because, even as a person who is largely ideologically aligned with Valenti, I began to question her standpoint as fearmongering overshadowed politics.

Perhaps Valenti believes that young women won’t be moved unless they’re shocked by what she says, or completely scared to death. Fear is a powerful motivator, but it belittles the audience in the process. Oh, and did I mention that she uses the book as a forum to talk public trash about petty tiffs she’s had with other bloggers? If fear doesn’t sell you on feminism, apparently Valenti believes taking sides in some inane, personal dispute will.

Full Frontal Feminism is written in sound bytes, each chapter being comprised of smaller (usually) one page-long explanations of a given issue: sex education vs. abstinence only, virginity pledges, expensive weddings, unattainable beauty standards, and other typical feminist fare. Apparently, the television has taken its toll (or so Valenti thinks) on the public because there is no sense of organization or logic to the structure of the book. And solutions? Those must have been left for someone else to tackle because you won’t find them here, at least not outside of the standard volunteer, give money, and vote.

Now I know I’ve pretty much run this book into the ground, but I do want to say that I get what Valenti is trying to do here. And it’s a really smart idea. She wants to reach out to young women who don't call themselves "feminists" and let them know that it’s okay, cool even, to be down with the F-word. She wants to tell them that they already believe in feminist ideals and have benefited from the women’s movement. And she wants to encourage them to continue in that tradition in order to kick some misogynist ass. That’s a really honorable goal that, unfortunately, was a victim of poor execution.

If you’re truly looking to find out why feminism matters, you’d be better served to flip to the booklist in the back of Full Frontal Feminism and read some of the titles listed there—including Colonize This_!, _Listen Up: Voices from the Next Generation, To Be Real, and The Fire This Time—because cool packaging is really great, but if there’s nothing of substance inside then what you are selling is just the packaging.

Eds note: Since comments seem to have been discontinued on Feministing in order to silence critique, folks are welcome to continue discussion in the "Comments" on the _Full Frontal Feminism _review on this blog. All comments have been, and will continue to be, approved. Feminist Review blog encourages healthy and necessary debate. As our mission says, "Feminist Review blog believes that all opinions - positive and critical - are valuable and seeks to give voice to communities that remain on the margins" and to create a space where "differences can be represented and explored."

Written by: Mandy Van Deven, April 27th 2007

Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides

admin — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:45:00 +0000

By Ariel Meadow Stallings

Seal Press

There are some women who, upon getting engaged, will spend hours poring over the most recent 700-page issue of Bride magazine. There are other women who would sooner use that behemoth of a magazine as a firestarter than spend a single minute reading about the most recent trends in bustles and floral arrangements. It seems that Ariel Meadow Stallings had the latter category of people in mind when she wrote Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides.

A soup to nuts discussion of how to throw a wedding that doesn’t conjure up the term “cookie-cutter,” Stalling’s book relies heavily on anecdotal discussion about her own (admittedly offbeat!) wedding, along with stories and opinions from other “offbeat brides (and a few grooms).” This narrative set-up is great for getting a broad overview of what a non-traditional wedding might look like, but it also spreads the subject matter a little thin. While Stalling takes pains to point out that the book “isn’t a how-to book or a step-by-step wedding planner,” the sheer width and breadth of the topics that she tackles results in a break-neck pace, and many important aspects of weddings and marriage ultimately feel like they’re given short shrift.

That being said, Offbeat Bride would be a great gift for your sister, friend, cousin or co-worker who recently got engaged, but seems ambivalent to the idea of having a wedding chock full of taffeta, jordan almonds and traditional gender roles. It’s a warm, funny, easy-going affirmation of anyone’s inclination to “get off the beaten aisle.” However, the dedicated patriarchy blamer will probably come away from this book feeling like she’s just read 208 pages of stuff she already knew. Such advanced-level rebels might be better off perusing Stallings' book-related website, www.offbeatbride.com, if they want to skip the Offbeat 101 lesson and get directly to some more particular tips, examples and advice for their own taffeta-free affair.

Written by: Kate Dixon, March 26th 2007