Happy at Work, Happy at Home: The Girl’s Guide to Being a Working Mom

admin — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Happy at Work, Happy at Home is a starter lifestyle guide for the professional who is new to motherhood. It’s a great book to begin the parenting-career balance, although many moms may seek more specific guides about topics contained within, such as how to work effectively from a home office, or how to choose a day care center or nursery school. The book has a broad base, touching on topics ranging from fertility treatments, to legal procedure regarding maternity leave and career-pregnancy conflict or how to manage a support system of babysitters and nannies. The ultimate goal of the collected advice, as indicated by the title, is to allow the woman to achieve professional success while not only running a home smoothly, but also enjoying time with her children and husband and having time for herself.

The book is made up of three types of sections, intertwined: numbered and bulleted lists of concrete advice, interviews with experts on various subjects, and a reassuring and supportive narrative written by the co-authors, themselves entrepreneurs and working mothers. Of these, the first type of section, the tip lists, are probably the most relevant for the time-pressed audience of the book. Lists include: Pregnancy Do’s and Don’ts for the office (fyi: don’t shop online for strollers while you’re on the job, do take on extra projects that can be completed during office hours), Do’s and Don’ts of taking your child to work, and tip sheets on how to build rapport with your boss, how to determine if your company is baby-friendly, how to make a stay-at-home-dad situation work. If you’re forced to breeze through this book due to a busy schedule, my advice would be to focus on these lists.

The authors interview various experts and role models who offer their take on maximizing your time with your family, advancing your career while working more efficiently, and ensuring your comfort with your childcare system. The director of a Manhattan pre-school advises what to look for in a classroom, how to drop off your child off without a scene, and how to stay involved in the classroom even when your time is limited. A stay-at-home dad offers his take on trading professional advancement for more time raising his kids. A high-ranking corporate officer at Yahoo! reveals how she and her husband collaborate with weekly meetings to schedule time for their daughters and time for each other.

The backbone of the book is a supportive broaching of each topic by the co-authors, who display intelligence and empathy in their address to all women, whether they choose to continue their careers at full-speed, reduce their hours, or stay at home to raise children. The authors reassure working moms that their children will be safe and cared for, and that while the people they hire to care for their homes and children may not do everything exactly as mom would, everything will get done. The authors explore the common problem of moms feeling guilty for leaving their children, and the less common problem of moms using the office as a place to escape. This encouraging and uplifting narrative brings out the many positives of working motherhood, especially the ability to raise children who believe a woman can be a breadwinner and a man can be a caretaker, and children who are proud of their parents’ professional achievements.

Written by: Elizabeth F.A. Meaney, December 30th 2009

Old World Daughter, New World Mother

admin — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 09:28:00 +0000

By Maria Laurino

WW Norton

Taking us from her childhood to the present, Maria Laurino explores what it’s like to be an Italian American woman through the lens of identity, feminism, ethnicity, motherhood, pregnancy, and economics in Old World Daughter, New World Mother_. Laurino unveils the restrictions she faced as a feminist daughter, as well as all that a traditionally Italian upbringing entails. We learn of her severely over-protective mother who gets up at dawn to make the day’s meals, how this mamma’s_ actions and attitudes have rippled across the pond of Laurino’s life, and why this mamma did not serve as a role model for her daughter because she remained stuck within an ever “motherly” and self-effacingly sacrificial role.

This theme of sacrificial motherhood is ubiquitous in the book, and Laurino later ties it in to her deep analysis of feminism and motherhood in America today. In a way, Laurino’s story is epic because it is both personal and boundless. At least part of her story—her thoughts and feelings about life lived through the stark lens of feminism—will resonate with most readers. While Laurino is fond of details her humanity broadens their reach, which is precisely what makes this book so touching, graceful, and important.

Laurino shares the connections that she forms with herself and everyone around her, even when they’re not reciprocated. There is enough intimate divulgence to let us perceive our narrator’s sensitivity in the face of a callous world, and we see strength inhabit Laurino as she surpasses obstacles to evolve into the writer who lived to tell the tale. As I read, I truly marveled at the uninhibited candor and courage stemming from this person who is, in the end, so much like each of us.

This book deals largely with “reconstructive feminism” or “family humanism.” Laurino explores ways in which feminism can approach class and economic equality, mitigate the difficulties of working-class parents (women in particular), and deconstruct the myth of independence anchored in American culture that leads mothers to make false choices about their careers. When she interviews Nidia, a working-class mother who lacked the opportunity to get to know her children because she had to work (with no benefits, minimal vacation time, and no flexibility to even use an office phone to call home and check that her children had gotten home safely from school) an embarrassed Laurino if Nidia is a feminist or supports the movement: “’Let me see,’ [Nidia] replied with a sly smile, ‘is that when women fought for the right to employment?’”

Essentially, Laurino believes it imperative that the “two strands of the women’s movement—one that sought to protect women’s interests as wives and mothers, the other that fought for universal human rights—converge once again.” She affirms there need not be contradiction in a “feminist motherhood agenda,” which would serve us all—mothers and otherwise—supremely well. Laurino introduces ideas for legislation to guide us in moving forward that utilizes cultural perspectives inspired by her Italian upbringing. She also suggests actions we can take right now.

Appropriately, this book has reminded me that we are all linked together. We all matter because we are all riding the same wave of life, as Laurino likes to say, and injustice against one will duly impact everyone riding it—and so will compassion. This is a memoir that cruises through politics, ethnicity, motherhood, and identity politics while pulling the reader back into the palpability of these encompassing themes.

Old World Daughter, New World Mother is an important and potentially paradigm-shattering book with a lot to offer feminists, especially to those privileged enough to get their hands on it. As Laurino walks us through her deconstruction of myths, prejudices, and familial ingrained ideas, her concepts breathe a tender and brave vitality onto us, and stretches our minds to blur misconceptions about motherhood, ethnicity, class, the economy, and feminism itself.

This book is nourishment. Don’t miss it.

Written by: Natalia Real, July 18th 2009