Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum

It's Not That I'm Bitter...: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World

admin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 16:02:00 +0000

Challenging the norms of our modern society and how the feminist movement has evolved into a misfire of sorts (a mix of improvements with unexpected setbacks), Gina Barreca wrote her book It’s Not that I’m Bitter... to share her perspective. She covers a wide range of topics, from the beauty-obsessed culture women live in to how the holidays are unnecessarily stressful for women due to misguided expectations to our tendency toward behavior dictated by guilt and fear. Yet, she addresses these topics with a snarky sense of humor, regularly citing, “Not that I’m bitter…”

Immediately tackling being a woman in her fifties surviving in this world defined by body image, despite being a feminist and an intellectual, Gina admits that even she suffers from common women-only setbacks of bathing suit season-induced low self-esteem, and the like. The truth is that men and women are very different, and there are many aspects of being a woman that only other women can understand. Reading It’s Not that I’m Bitter... is like having a long chat with a close girlfriend, where she vents about the pressures and expectations of society, questions her own neurotic behavior in hopes of finding validation, proudly defines her stance, and proclaims judgments while admitting to some self-deprecation in the process. It’s amusing, a bit confusing, but ultimately relatable in a way only a woman would understand.

The title of this book made it sound as if this author had found personal peace with all that ails womankind in our modern world. Apparently not, and I was very disappointed with the ending. It abruptly stops on a note of Gina’s advice and curious questions for the main female figures of the previous presidential election (i.e., Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, and Cindy McCain). Yes, it was amusing, but I was expecting some grand conclusion, not another random capsule of thought. Conquering the world is apparently still a work in progress for Gina, as it is for the rest of us too. And this helps the author to come off as a pal rather than a patronizing professor.

A mix of feminist perspective, humorous angst about our beauty-obsessed culture, and random (albeit amusing) ramblings make up It’s Not that I’m Bitter.... You won’t find any solutions to the problems you face as a woman (though a man would surely gain insight into women… and probably run screaming), but you will find a comedic look at today’s society, and where women need to stop holding themselves back.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, July 25th 2010

Knocked Up, Knocked Down: Postcards of Miscarriage and Misadventure from the Brink of Parenthood

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:01:00 +0000

By Monica Murphy Lemoine

Catalyst Book Press

This book is not just for those that have experienced a miscarriage. Let’s make that clear. Yes, Knocked Up, Knocked Down: Postcards of Miscarriage and Other Misadventures from the Brink of Parenthood is all about the journey of healing from the great loss of being pregnant, physically caring for this baby within, then suddenly having parenthood ripped from beneath you. It’s a horrendous experience. However, what this book does best is open up that harsh reality to everyone who has never experienced it. Too often those that suffer through miscarriage or stillbirth feel outcast. While people generally know how to react to the death of a family member or friend, the death of an unborn child is confusing territory. The worst: some people just don’t understand how terribly painful that loss is. Reading this book will change that.

Knocked Up, Knocked Down is a very personal account of Monica Murphy Lemoine’s experience of entering motherhood, but ending up without a baby. How do you heal from such a confusing and heartbreaking experience? While it’s different for everyone, Monica found that most of the grieving literature in regards to miscarriages and stillbirths wasn’t at all helpful. If anything, she found it to be patronizing and irritating. While she tried many of the suggestions, her journey of finding out for herself what helps and what just makes it worse is helpful for anyone in a similar circumstance or anyone wanting to understand those that are.

As far as the writing itself, with a jarring, crass beginning, and slow character development, it takes at least thirty pages before you even begin to feel like you’re truly getting to know the author. Even though she shares plenty of personal information right from the beginning, there’s not much of an introduction. The story begins forty-eight hours after her miscarriage, jumping right into the focus of this journey, but you feel like you’re playing catch up trying to get to know her.

Once you get about fifty pages into this 200 page book, it all starts to come together. All of the introductions are finally explained with sufficient back-story to feel like you personally know Monica and her husband Kevin. Once that’s in place, it’s easier to understand, relate, and feel great compassion for this couple as they try to heal from their loss. Is Knocked Up, Knocked Down a bit depressing? You bet. But will it give you new perspective? Absolutely! This book is completely worth the read.

You would think with miscarriages and stillbirth being as common as it is (as Monica points out, the International Stillbirth Alliance states that 4.5 million stillbirths occur worldwide each year), that this topic would be addressed more often. But the truth is, it’s not. Good for Monica helping others feel less alone and providing everyone else with the means to begin to comprehend. Plus, readers can continue to follow Monica through her blog. After reading her book, you are sure to wonder “What happens next?” and, fortunately, with her blog the journey continues.

Monica manages to bring you inside her world and allows you to share in her experiences, both the good and the bad, without making you feel like a voyeur. She opens up in a way that feels like family, a really close-knit and brutally honest family. No doubt you’ll walk away from reading her story a little wiser and much more empathetic.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, July 22nd 2010

How to Get Divorced by 30: My Misguided Attempt at a Starter Marriage

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 08:00:00 +0000

By Sascha Rothchild

Plume

It’s not like someone would seek out this book looking to find advice on how to damage their marriage, but it definitely piques the curiosity of anyone trying to understand how easily a marriage can go awry. How to Get Divorced by 30 is Sascha Rothchild’s personal tale of her short-lived marriage. Surprisingly, it’s not a man-bashing book picking on her ex-husband (some of his faults are mentioned, but not focused upon). Instead, Sascha tells her story by explaining how the various events, influences, and personal insecurities in her own life led to her choosing a relationship that seemed to fill her needs, but resulted in feeding her flaws.

Sascha’s unabashed honesty about herself, especially exposing her quirky personal demons, is highly admirable. Regardless of whether you agree with her viewpoints, you can’t help but revere her accurate self-assessment and the courage it took to write this book. You also can’t help but relate to her inner struggles with self-perception, including weight, looks, and identity. It’s normal for women to have insecurities in these areas, but Sascha takes the exploration further by discovering how her insecurities led to poor relationship choices. Looking to resolve her issues, she’d try to find a sense of security through relationships.

We all tend to choose a partner who counteracts our shortcomings in some way or another, which is why you can’t help but relate to the author. However, what is most interesting about the book is how she focused on the fact that her unhealthy relationship with herself was not only the root cause of her divorce, but also the cause of her marriage (and other failed relationships) in the first place.

By the end of the book you feel like you know Sascha personally. Her influence will cause you to stop and reflect on your own life, the relationships you’ve had, and how your own insecurities may have caused problems in ways you never before realized. I assure you this is a good thing. If we could all look at ourselves with blatant honesty (not harshness nor kindness, just what is) then we would all be better people. We spend too much time pretending to be what others think we should be, lying to ourselves, and trying so hard to measure up that we lose sight of our own needs and happiness. That’s what happened to Sascha.

By sharing her journey of self-discovery (and divorce) Sascha helps readers to more truthfully look at their own lives. Meanwhile, the read is an excitingly entertaining journey. Be prepared to finish the book in one sitting. It’s a fast read, but mostly because you can’t put it down until you've finished it.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, April 2nd 2010

Who Do You Think You Are?

admin — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 03:11:00 +0000

By NBC Entertainment, Ancestry.com

Genealogy has never been so entertaining. Making its debut this evening, Who Do You Think You Are? explores the family history of a celebrity who travels about to find missing information and reconnect with their ancestors by seeing for themselves the location of their family’s historical events. Sponsored by Ancestry.com, the celebrities, of course, use the website as a primary source of their research. (Don’t worry, the tie-in is natural and not overly advertorial.) It’s an emotional experience to discover one’s roots and feel a family connection like never before.

Having received a screener of the entire season, which will unfold weekly for NBC viewers, the first episode staring Sarah Jessica Parker was the most gripping. She discovers that she has an ancestor who was involved in the Salem witch trials. As she waits for whether her ancestor was an accuser or a victim to be revealed, it’s most incredible to watch her conviction and sense of responsibility. She’s quite nervous about the results, and unsure which way it would go, but it was admirable that she felt the need to make things right in some way should her ancestor turn out to be an accuser.

However, the flip side is that she’s horrified by the idea of having an ancestor unjustly accused of being a witch. It’s fascinating to see her instant love for the relative and her immediate connection with the historical nature of the events. It's as if these were her own life events unfolding. It goes to show that there is a bond among families that surpasses time, distance, and even death.

The journey that most surprised me was that of Emmitt Smith. All I knew about him was that he used to be a football player. It was amazing to watch this bighearted man connect with his family despite the harshness of his genealogical roots in slavery. Most inspiring was his powerful respect when he learns that his grandmother successfully used her strength, intelligence, and strong protective instincts to make the best of a tough situation. He’s enormously impressed with her accomplishments and reveres her effect on his family's posterity. To watch a man view the power of a woman with such honor is truly beautiful.

Other celebrities featured in this first season of Who Do You Think You Are? are Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Broderick, Brooke Shields, Susan Sarandon, and Spike Lee. Lisa Kudrow's Jewish ancestry leads right into the Holocaust, and this is by far the toughest episode to watch. But if you can bear with Lisa through the heartbreaking journey, the ending turns out to be a small miracle in the midst of tragedy. Matthew Broderick's family history is full of war heroes, and Matthew’s research into his lineage helps to solve a 150 year old mystery. If you watch the show for its travel aspect, be sure to tune in for Brooke Shields' episode. She has an exciting family tree that leads to beautiful locations. Having a very unique family history, Susan Sarandon has always felt a connection with the grandmother she never met yet believes she inherited her best qualities from. The search for the truth of this women, who disappeared many years ago, is a challenging treasure hunt and the family connection through strong women is wondrously insightful. Spike Lee discovers a truth about his ancestors that he wishes weren’t true. It’s a look into genuine emotion, though with a tough exterior, as he tries to accept his family history, blemishes and all.

Who Do You Think You Are? gives you a mix of history lesson, travel show, and human interest documentary with a touch of reality TV. It’s a good mix that keeps the audience entertained while educating and enlightening them as well.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, March 5th 2010

Parenthood

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:01:00 +0000

By Jason Katims

NBC

Based on the 1989 Ron Howard movie Parenthood, writer Jason Katims has revised the premise into a modern day, one-hour drama that explores the many facets of being a parent. The stellar cast includes Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls), Craig T. Nelson (Coach), and Erika Christensen (Traffic). The intertwining of the many characters is organized by the family connection of the parents, their two sons, their two daughters, plus the in-laws and grandchildren (though the storylines focus primarily on the bloodline brood). It’s the complexity of moderate dysfunction and typical family dilemmas with many points of view—from parents raising young ones, to raising teenagers, to being an adult child dealing with their parents, to being the grandparent that struggles to transition into a new realm of parenthood, and negotiating each of the relationships in the midst of it all.

The pilot episode provides a fast-paced introduction to the characters by diving right into their lives. It immediately builds character development and emotional attachment, and is a surprisingly perfect balance that is sure to leave the audience wanting more. During the opening, you find Sarah Braverman (Lauren Graham) has recently divorced her deadbeat husband. She’s moving back in with her parents and bringing her two teenage children, though first she has to retrieve her daughter and insist she come with her. It’s a refreshing change from the single mother Graham previously played (Lorelai Gilmore), who was more of a friend and less of a mom. Upon Sarah’s arrival back home, you quickly see her place within the family and begin to understand the dynamics at play in the relationships.

The character that intrigues my feminist sensibility the most is Julia Braverman (Erika Christensen), a highly successful lawyer and mother of one, whose husband is a stay-at-home dad. It is clear in this episode that while she enjoys her triumphs within her career, she is saddened that her young daughter is much closer to her husband. Sure, women are capable of doing it all, but the question is whether doing it all makes women happy.

As much as it is great to have all of the options the world can offer, what is often overlooked is the inner turmoil that comes from making sacrifices, especially when it comes to motherhood. It will be very interesting watching how the over-achieving, controlling, people pleasing Julia Braverman navigates her life and deals with her inner conflict.

Parenthood will provide an insightful look into the joy, pain, frustration, and self-discovery that comes with being a parent. After all, no parent or child is perfect, but with a lot of love and striving to do the best with what you do know, parenthood can be a rewarding adventure. And from the looks of it, this new show has the potential to help viewers gain insight as children and parents themselves.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, February 15th 2010

The Means of Reproduction: Sex, Power, and the Future of the World

admin — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 11:41:00 +0000

By Michelle Goldberg

Penguin

In The Means of Reproduction: Sex, Power, and the Future of the World, author and investigative journalist Michelle Goldberg uses her abilities to uncover the truth about the reproductive rights (and lack thereof) for women around the world. As we grow into a global community, the politics of sex, child bearing, and child rearing are monumental issues that are overlooked for the convenience of those in power. This book explores the reality of the situation, including many real life accounts of the struggles faced by women in countries that span four continents.

Chapter one begins with a heartbreaking tale of the first victim of an abortion ban in Nicaragua. The country deemed that abortion in any form was illegal. Jazmina Bojorge began suffering a miscarriage and due to fear of legal repercussions the doctors, against their better judgment, gave her medicine to stop the labor because helping her with the miscarriage—that is, terminating the pregnancy—would have been illegal. The delay in action caused her to die. If the doctors could have performed medical assistance in ways that are associated with abortions, it would have saved Jazmina’s life.

The book goes into great detail about the various issues that surround women’s rights and the laws and culture that repress them. Topics include contraception, pregnancy and childbirth, AIDS, female circumcision, abortion, sex-selective abortion, rape, and the role of women in society. The political stances of both the Left and the Right are dissected with suggestions of what should be done and how women can stand strong together to fight against the torment we collectively endure.

The Means of Reproduction is a hard hitting read. Goldberg opens the eyes of the reader to the unjust treatment of women due to reproduction. Feminist activists will be motivated to take stronger action after reading this book. Anyone else will be hit with the realization that they can no longer choose to be ignorant. The facts are stacked up, and it’s time to take action.

This review is cross-posted on Girl w/ Pen.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, March 23rd 2009

Wallet

admin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:20:00 +0000

By Ember Necessary Baggage

Ember Necessary Baggage is a company founded by one woman, Ellen M. Belanger, who creates personal bags – including handbags, totes, and wallets. Her artistry is seen in cleverly crafted designs and carefully stitched construction. Each and every bag is made by hand, often a one-of-a-kind piece. This loving attention to detail creates crafter kinship, as many of her patrons either create their own works or simply have an appreciation for hand crafted artisan goods.

This Ember Necessary Baggage wallet is made of tasteful blue and cream striped fabric with a hint of yellow. This color combination conveys the relaxation of a summer cottage on the beach. The construction of the wallet is durable with each ending seam being backstitched for extra strength. The wallet itself is a simple design of an overlapping fold secured with velcro that opens to an inside pocket large enough to hold several credit cards and cash. Upon investigation of this pocket a satin ribbon with a gold imprint of emberbags.com is found; which is a lovely touch over those mass produced manufacturer tags found in industrial made items. There is also a card stock tag attached to the wallet that is complete with not only the company name and website, but also the designer’s name, e-mail address, and phone number! Those are personal details only found in a handmade item adding to the customer care and quality of service. This wallet is truly delightful. A sturdy piece with multiple uses, this cute accessory has additional value by knowing it was hand crafted.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, July 2nd 2008

Amber Velvet Votive

admin — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:27:00 +0000

Dark Candles

Dark Candles may give the impression that it caters to an unconventional crowd, but these scented candles have broad appeal. The Amber Velvet Votive candle offers a pleasurable experience. The first impression, being the appearance, is favorable. The candle is a dark violet color, wrapped in plastic and topped off with a matching shiny, purple twisty tie. Upon opening the package you are immersed in the Amber Velvet scent. It is reminiscent of upscale department store perfume, a little musky while remaining feminine. Burning the candle will fill the area with this aroma without being overwhelming. It is ideal for creating a sensual atmosphere.

A single votive candle will last through a romantic evening. The burn time for this candle is adequate for its size. I placed this votive candle in a glass container when in use. Clean up of the remaining wax was achieved with ease since it popped right off of the glass. Don’t be too quick to judge this brand by its mysterious image. Dark Candles are sensational for scent lovers.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, September 5th 2007

Black Sculpture Lash Mascara

admin — Tue, 22 May 2007 23:20:00 +0000

By Bésame Cosmetics

The Black Sculpture Lash Mascara made by Bésame Cosmetics arrives in an impressive display of packaging. The box is decorated with imprinted gold foil flowers, which match the exquisite gold tube adorned with floral scrolls full of high end mascara. The packaging itself would make this mascara an excellent gift to give or to receive.

The mascara wand has a medium thickness of bristles, which will work for most any type of lashes. The mascara itself creates thick, dark lashes. I have blonde eyelashes so mascara makes a huge difference in my look. I put on this mascara and was happy with the results. Unfortunately this mascara doesn’t last all night. It’s good for maybe four to six hours if you are extremely careful. After that it will smudge no matter how careful you are not to tear up or touch your eyes.

While the mascara looks great on, the fact that it doesn’t stay in place well causes me to have a less than favorable opinion of this product. Granted I have a tendency to have trouble finding mascara that will not smudge. So perhaps for those that generally don’t have smudging issues would be delighted with this makeup. Overall, I’d recommend the Bésame Cosmetics’ Black Sculpture Lash Mascara, but with a warning of smudging potential.

Written by: Sarah Eve Nichols-Fulghum, May 22nd 2007