breakup

The Con

admin — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 20:45:00 +0000

The biggest key to deconstructing Tegan and Sara’s The Con can be found in the line “I won't go my whole life telling you I don't need.” It’s a break-up album: a tale of love lost, and clearly one of the twins is blaming herself. In interviews with the duo, Tegan admits it was the dissolution of a five year relationship that is the basis of the lyrical fodder, and that she’s not afraid to make her heartache poetically public.

The Con is an album about lies and confessions. The instrumental manages to be upbeat while at the same time being the perfect indie-pop accompaniment for the melancholy admitting of wrongdoings. And while Tegan and her sister sing about the demise of something that once was so good (“Nineteen"), they turn the self-sufficient suffering into a blissful break-up album that any ex-girlfriend can only find heartbreakingly honest.

It’s quite obvious that the writing of The Con was a therapeutic experience for Tegan, and fans are only better off for it. It’s the most captivating and best written album Tegan and Sara have released, and their maturity is emerging with lines like, “The pressure of this life is so/You can't be held accountable.”

Written by: Trish Bendix, August 2nd 2007

Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric Issue #5

admin — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 02:28:00 +0000

By Sarah Arrr

Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric Issue #5: The Breakup Issue is a perzine dedicated to the pain and loss of a breakup. It is mainly about one woman who, for all intents and purposes, appears to be the love of the author’s (also a woman) life. One thing rings particularly true while reading this deeply personal zine: relationships are often messy and complicated and wonderful and awful, and the pain of a breakup can feel unending no matter what gender you are.

This zine explores all kinds of pain that derives from breaking up with someone you loved in an epic, devastating way. The author describes her marriage to a man that she liked well enough, but was hardly crazy in love with; then an abusive relationship with a woman that followed; and, finally, Hannah, the beloved one in the central relationship that this zine focuses on. Hannah is the one whom the author cannot imagine not having in her life, at least in a platonic way. Hannah, who caused so much joy and pain: “I will wash myself in your tears, my shame in the sweat and scent of you. I will push my guilt away in the arms and the charms of people who are not you.”

I found many relationship truths in this zine. For example, how tacky, tired clichés like “It’s not you; it’s me,” “I think we should just be friends” and, perhaps the worst of all, “I never meant to hurt you” really are! They are tacky, to be sure, and yet unavoidable sometimes. The author also notes how “Lifelong commitments are for very few people” and that she “misses the potential of a new crush.” She poses the question: “Why is love so appealing that normally sensible people rearrange their lives?”

Essentially this zine takes the reader on a journey of pain, anger, depression, forgiveness and acceptance. Anyone who has been through a heart-wrenching breakup can relate to at least one of the author’s poems or stories. You do not have to be a feminist, a woman, or a lesbian to understand basic human pain and loss.

Written by: Kent Page McGroarty, June 23rd 2007

Life After Your Lover Walks Out: A Practical Guide

admin — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 03:59:00 +0000

By Lynda Bevan

Love Healing Press

This is, indeed, a practical guide; think of it as a seventy-nine-page crash-course on how to get over a breakup.

Bevan, a fifty-nine-year-old charity manager and radio relationship counselor who is on her third marriage, makes no bones about her own past relationships. Throughout this short book, one feels as if Bevan, who lives in Wales, is coaching the reader by saying that if she has gotten through relationship bumps, they can too. Ignore the typos – and the fact that the cover design looks like a heart made out of pieces of dried-out steak – and it's a quick but helpful read for the newly dumped.

When describing the grieving that accompanies the breakup process – the book is specifically for the partner that's been walked out on – Bevan may be a bit melodramatic at times. (A reference to "lovingly touching" an ex-partner's clothes with "tears running down your cheeks" come to mind.) But she offers very specific advice on a variety of topics – sex with a new partner, handling finances, talking about the breakup with children, if there are any – in a refreshingly straightforward way.

The best thing about this book is that, unlike other self-help tomes, it isn't full of Dr. Laura-type, shrewish suggestions about how to change who you are to lure your man (or woman) back. The tone of the book is essentially positive, direct and at times even humorous. In chapter two, for instance, asserting that the dumped partner doesn't deserve to be unhappy, Bevan ascertains that "Unless you are a mass murderer, rapist, or pedophile, you don't deserve to be unhappy."

How's that for affirming your right to bliss?

Written by: M.L. Madison, February 11th 2007