Veronica I. Arreola

Motherhood and Feminism

admin — Fri, 28 May 2010 08:00:00 +0000

I doubt any role is more judged than mother. Add sexuality, class, and race into the equation and, for some of us, we will never be a "good" mother. But what are we really comparing ourselves to?

We are trying to live up to a myth. A myth of Biblical proportions that has been around for less than sixty years. Stephanie Koontz’s The Way We Never Were does an excellent job at debunking the myth of a Leave It to Beaver family and letting Donna Reed be our benchmark. Amber E. Kinser picks up that conversation and runs with it.

In Motherhood and Feminism Kinser outlines the evolution, both natural and government imposed, of the role of motherhood in American society. At the same time she is tracking the evolution of the feminist movement in the United States. Sometimes both areas collide; other times they complement each other. And that is what is fascinating about this book: how easily motherhood and the role of women in families can be shifted by outside economic pressures and government propaganda, as well as how the feminist movement often takes its cues from how motherhood is framed.

During the first wave of feminism, it was obvious that many of the women who were engaged in the fight for suffrage took a look at themselves and said, “Hey, women need the vote so we can be better citizens for our children and because women are just better people than men.” The theory that infusing women into politics would clean it up remains with us today. The fact that women could not ask for their own rights for their own sake, but rather used their children as the reason why they shouldn’t be left penniless after her husband dies, also remains with us. Consider how many mothers' organizations fight for rights on behalf of children rather than for women themselves.

In many ways the fight for women’s rights has and continues to be fought in the home. The so-called Mommy Wars are a proxy for where a woman should be in society and not about the well-being of children. It is also a proxy for who is worthy of support. (How dare that woman take government money to stay home with her children when my husband works hard and I budget so I can be home?) The backlash against mom bloggers earning money, directly or indirectly through free samples, is yet another battle over where a woman’s priorities should be: her career or her children.

Kinser makes the point over and over again that not all mothers movements are feminist, nor do they want to be. It is honestly easier to get a thousand women to rally for children’s health care than to rally for their own health care that includes access to full reproductive health services. And that’s where the gruff lives.

I've talked with feminists who wished that mothers organizations would just claim the damn label, but I get it. And yes, it usually falls to the abortion question. Kinser has one of the best rationales on why feminism must include a pro-choice stance—no ifs, ands, or buts. She also does a good job at tackling moms of color, queer moms, and low-income moms. This is not a history of white middle class feminist motherhood, although she correctly states that much of mainstream feminism and motherhood expectations are modeled on white middle class norms, and then she rips it apart.

Motherhood and Feminism is well written and documents a shared history that many moms and feminists often forget or aren't even aware of. Without moms, we wouldn't have won the right to vote. Without feminism, moms wouldn't have the rights they have today. We're like peanut butter and chocolate—and some us are peanut butter cups.

Cross-posted from Viva La Feminista

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, May 28th 2010

Getting Real: Challenging the Sexualisation of Girls

admin — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 08:00:00 +0000

Edited by Melinda Tankard Reist

Spinifex Press

Getting Real is a collection of essays that are charges against the worldwide phenomena of the pornification of childhood through advertising, marketing, and pop culture. This was a great book to read, particularly as the authors are Australian and I sometimes wonder how much of our collective reaction to porn and adult images going mainstream is a reflection of our country's Puritanical leanings. For the contributors to Getting Real, the problem is embedded not just in faux-feminism but also a twisting of feminism by marketers and others to make women believe that if they are "in charge" of their sexuality, then there isn't anything wrong with stripping, making out with other women to turn men on, and so forth.

About half way through the book I came across a few statements that made me think, "Wait a minute...This isn't a feminist book!" There's just a tinge of anti-sex sentiment in some essays. So I did some investigating and found that editor Melinda Tankard Reist is part of a women's think tank. Upon further digging, I came to the conclusion that the Women's Forum Australia seems to be what one might get if the National Organization for Women and the Independent Women's Forum had a lefty baby. (If anyone has more information about them, I'd love for you to leave it in the comments.)

While some essays wade into slut-shaming and defaming strippers and sex workers, on the whole Getting Real is a pretty good book. One eye-opening essay on street billboards makes the point that even though it is illegal for people to have porn in the workplace, we have to walk through porn-infested streets on a daily basis. Another essay brought up how many of us are using Flickr and YouTube to share our children's lives, which teaches them to perform publicly. There is also a discussion about the medicalization of girls' bodies. From HPV vaccines to plastic surgery, it's all there to ponder.

The best part of Getting Real was learning a new term: corporate pedophilia. "Sexualizing products being sold specifically for children, and children themselves being presented in images or directed to act in advertisements in ways modeled on adult sexual behavior." This goes far beyond the dress-up of our youth to performance on a daily basis. "The task for today's teenagers is to win back their freedom from the adults who run the advertising agencies and girls magazines and the 'sex-positive' media academics who insist that 'bad girls' are powerful girls."

The essays are well cited, but avoid a lot of academic jargon, making Getting Real a quick read. The book is feminist, but with a dash of moderate conservatism thrown in. The topic brings together some typically opposing forces, and that's always good for the discussion.

Cross-posted from Viva La Feminista

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, April 27th 2010

The Blue Orchard

admin — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 00:00:00 +0000

By Jackson Taylor

Touchstone

I can't remember the last time a tale of fiction grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. I finished The Blue Orchard by Jackson Taylor over a week ago and it still haunts me during those quiet moments of my day. What drew me in to say 'yes' to reviewing this book was that it is a tale of a nurse in pre-Roe America who is arrested for performing illegal abortions. On top of that, The Blue Orchard is a fictionalized tale of Taylor's own grandmother.

But I have to tell you that I forgot that last fact while reading. I was so consumed by the ups and far too many downs of Verna Krone that I simply forgot she really did walk this earth. The Blue Orchard is a painful tale of a young girl's hope to find her place in the world, only to have too many decisions made for her that ultimately result in heartbreak. The story is far too delicate than I could ever express.

I will certainly be suggesting The Blue Orchard the next time my book group needs to pick a title. Not only is the issue of abortion discussed, but also gender roles, race, class, motherhood, and even a great dose of local politics. Oh, did I love the local politics angle!

Cross-posted from Viva La Feminista

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, April 20th 2010

On the Line

admin — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:01:00 +0000

By Serena Williams

Grand Central Publishing

I love everything about the U.S. Open except the line calls.

I experienced this past weekend's U.S. Open upset for Serena Williams with a different perspective than if I hadn't read her memoir On the Line. The book is written in Serena's voice. It's personal, it's conversational, and that's why I like it. I enjoyed her reflection on her life thus far.

I have to say that Serena is a spoiled brat, but that observation comes from her directly. She tells stories that curled this big sister's toes of scheming to get her way, cheating, and destroying her sisters' property. In looking back at all that peeking thru her fingers, I respect Serena for her honesty and self-criticism, and I agree with her judgment that she was a horrible little sister!

Serena spends a lot of time defending her father from the criticism he still receives about his coaching style. While her mom was pregnant with Venus, Serena admits her father decided that they would raise two tennis champions, and well, they did. He and Serena's mom taught themselves the game by playing and watching videos then he taught his daughters while they were living in Compton by playing on public courts. Even if the man is a controlling jerk, as some said early in the Williams Sisters career, you have to admit there's no country club pedigree here!

Serena digs deep to tackle the class and racial privilege they smacked into when Venus hit the tennis scene in a chapter on the 2001 Indian Wells tournament. Clearly, the girls were raised with a keen sense of history, especially civil rights history, and I've always admired Venus and Serena both for the way they play and for their tip of the hat to those who came before them.

Serena has a clear sense of racial and gender justice. Not only does Serena spend time discussing race and class, but she addresses all the fat comments she has received over the years. Positive body image is big with her. She understands that, as an internationally known tennis player and someone with more money than most of us will ever know, she has a responsibility to others on many fronts. I didn't follow all the Oprah criticism when the star built a school in Africa, but Serena gives the best response to that criticism I've ever seen by wrapping her justification around a touching story of visiting difference countries in Africa and wanting to do something.

She also lets us in on how much fashion has always played a key part of her and Venus' game. They weren't strong women athletes who "discovered" fashion as a way to sell themselves to the media or fans. They are savvy business women who aren't afraid of taking chances. Along with her sister, Serena will continue to blaze a path for herself and for others.

Even if you aren't a tennis fan or even someone who follows the players closely, we all know that there are some players who make a splash and then disappear or even worse, publicly self-destruct. Pressure and age are often pointed to as the factors as well as pushy parents. It's clear from this memoir that Serena and Venus couldn't have been "The Williams Sisters" without each other. Serena Williams has it all and survives. She did it despite a battle with depression, which she outlines with grace.

Serena haters won't like this book at all, but if you are truly interested in finding out what makes this powerful woman tick, pick up this memoir. It reminds me that Serena's been counted out far too many times and has always come back. She dug herself a hole this weekend, but I have faith that she'll redeem herself and silence the critics... again.

Cross-posted from Viva La Feminista

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, September 15th 2009

Men and Feminism

admin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:50:00 +0000

By Shira Tarrant

Seal Press

First off, when you see the cover of Men and Feminism you'll notice that this book is part of the Seal Press Studies series. But do not freak out! While this book can easily be in a Gender & Women's Studies course syllabus, I also believe this is an excellent book for anyone to pick up in order to know more about how men have fit into the feminist movement.

What's that? You don't think that men have been a part of the feminist movement? Oh how mistaken you are! But it's not your fault you believe that: first of all, our history classes don't teach women's history, and when we take it upon ourselves we focus on the accomplishments of kick ass women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Dolores Huerta. In fact, men have been supportive of the movement all along, not as many as we would want, but that's where Shira Tarrant really gets into the question of men and feminism.

Tarrant goes through the history of the (mostly American) women's movement and reveals the men behind the amazing women. She also reveals some of their contradictions, including how their public voice did not match their private lives and how men used motherhood as a way to push for women's rights.

I felt the gem of this book was how Tarrant wrestled with trans and gay issues within the context of feminism and masculinity. She showed us how the fear of being labeled a sissy keeps even the most feminist of men silent thus complacent in continuing our sexist and homophobic society. She walks us through how ignoring or being ignorant of trans-issues keeps us focused on the false binary of boy-girl, masculine-feminine, and thus, keeps all of us in gendered boxes.

As close friends know, I believe my feminism can connect with almost any issue, and Tarrant does a brilliant job at showing us how we must pay attention to the plight of boys and men under patriarchy in order to bring out a more just world. I wish I'd had this book a few years ago when I was trying to create a men's issues committee for a feminist organization I use to work with. I was shot down loudly and quickly.

Tarrant has a great chapter on male privilege. It's an easy read in terms of vocabulary, although it might be hard to totally grasp. Essentially, Tarrant says, "Great, you're a great guy. You might love a feminist woman, never hit her and even support her work. But unless you are taking progressive steps to call out others on their sexism there's still work to be done." It's not finger-pointing or male-bashing at all. Rather, it's a straightforward call to action for all the "I'm not a feminist, but..." men in our lives who really need to walk all that talk.

This would be an excellent present for a feminist-dad-in-training. It's 150 pages of the feminist manliness. If you're a nerd like me, it's great summer reading too.

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, May 26th 2009

Eat First--You Don't Know What They'll Give You: The Adventures of an Immigrant Family & Their Feminist Daughter

admin — Sat, 16 May 2009 15:27:00 +0000

By Sonia Pressman Fuentes

Xlibris

Normally the books I get pitches for are new and about to come out. Today I present you with a book that is now ten years old, but is better than most memoirs at your local big box bookstore.

Eat First--You Don't Know What They'll Give You is actually more of a family memoir than a personal memoir. Most notably, Sonia is one the founders of the National Organization for Women (NOW). As a small child, she fled Nazi Germany with her parents and older brother and settled in New York. We not only learn the trials of growing up in a new culture, but also the back story of her parents' marriage, which may explain why Sonia has such a hard time with her own relationships.

When I meet "famous" people, I try to remember that they are just human beings like me. They just did extraordinary things or perhaps just in the right place at the right time. While I may fawn over someone like Sonia, it's comforting to know her human side. But she certainly did some extraordinary things!

That said, the memoir jumps around time. One page you are reading about someone's death and the next chapter opens with a story about that person. There are a lot of very short stories, more like anecdotes about various people in her life. So while I felt the structure was not of the usual memoir, it read nicely. It does start off a bit slow with her parents' background, but once I realized how central they are to her life and thus the entire memoir it was an easier read for me. I can be quite an impatient reader.

This book is part women's history, part Jewish history, part memoir and part a study in family relationships. It's a must read for those interested in the origins of the largest feminist group in the US as well as a simple story of a little Jewish girl who moves to the US and grows up to be quite the giant slayer.

Cross-posted from Viva La Feminista

Disclosure: Sonia wrote to me and asked me to read her book for review. In exchange I have a new view of NOW and an autographed copy of her memoir.

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, May 16th 2009

Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls

admin — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:16:00 +0000

By Liz Funk

Touchstone

Supergirls Speak Out could be loaned out at preschool or kindergarten orientation. It should be on hand for all elementary school teachers and administrators. Reading the stories inside is one warning shot after another to parents, teachers, and others in our society who keep telling our kids—girls and boys—that if you don't do well in elementary school, you can't get into the top high school and then you might as well start picking out safe schools for college.

I go on a lot about being in the Chicago Public School system, but it's true. That's the name of the game. Growing up in the suburbs in a one high school district, it was more about making sure you did well in elementary so you at least got into the honors track in middle and high school. So there is a lot of pressure to get kids going on the right foot, and I'm all for that—except that subtle and not-so-subtle messages we give kids about screwing up (i.e., getting a B) in third grade can ruin their college hopes.

Funk agrees that there is a hook-up culture that is running rampant, and talks about seeing it firsthand. I have to say that I'm still leary that this phenomena is actually happening, especially when one quotes Laura Sessions Stepp as an expert.

As her first book, Funk has sought to expose what some say is the ugly under belly of feminism's daughter—trying to do it all, be good, sexy, and perfect. I do think that many of feminism's messages have been heard wrong, poorly stated, and that any movement has negative outcomes. But I believe that the fact that girls today still think they need to be perfect and "good" means that feminism still has a long way to go at breaking gender stereotypes.

Supergirls Speak Out isn't as good as You're Amazing in talking to girls about the issue. I'd say that Supergirls is more for parents than the girls themselves. Maybe buy them together and give your daughter Mysko's book while you keep Funk around to keep your dreams for your daughter in check.

Cross-posted from Viva La Feminista

Written by: Veronica I. Arreola, March 31st 2009