Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted

admin — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:54:00 +0000

This self-help book did not exactly have me at hello. In fact, I found it hard to keep reading after getting to an anecdote on the very first page where a recently divorced fifty-six-year-old woman meekly accepts a calf feel from a male colleague, and later winds up outside of his hotel room in her cotton PJ’s nervously wondering if she should knock on his door for more. Now, if a colleague started feeling up your leg at a conference, wouldn’t you be offended in the same way the German Chancellor was when she shrugged off former President Bush’s impromptu back massage? Professional boundary issues anyone? Have you heard of sexual harassment? I waited for the author—a female clinical psychologist, no less—to use this as an example of what you Not To Do. But no such luck.

If the tone of Getting Naked Again sounds dated, sort of like an old article in Cosmo, it should be made clear that there is a heavy focus in the book on the middle aged woman. To me, however, today’s middle aged woman still seems way hipper and worldlier than the ones the author interviews. Here’s another sampling that kind of had me thinking OMG: “Janice, married for thirty years and divorced for two, spoke for many of us when she explained, ‘How do I know if I’m attractive to men? Or even what man I might like? You know, I was faithful. I was loyal. I hated my husband’s guts, but I was not looking around.’” The author responds: “Now suddenly you’re looking. The first people in your line of sight will be your friends’ husbands. And they will be looking at you.” Yikes!

There is some useful advice offered about reentry into the dating scene for those with bruised egos or broken hearts. And maybe after reading “Sexual Mentors, Palate Cleansers and Other Transitional Relationships” or “Interpersonal Techniques” you will get the guts up to get out there and date again. But more than likely, you’ll be even more scared sh*tless!

Written by: Cheryl Reeves, August 3rd 2009

Leap Days: Chronicles of a Midlife Move

admin — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 19:34:00 +0000

By Katherine Lanpher

Springboard Press

Given the choice between staying where your career, friends, home and loved ones are and moving to a large city where you knew no one, what would you pick? Lucky for readers, Katherine Lanpher chose the latter.

Lanpher, a newspaper reporter and radio host, grew up in Illinois and made her journalistic mark in Minnesota. Among other notable achievements, she was the first female metro columnist at the St. Paul Pioneer Press. In her late 40s, she traded her Midwest life for a new one in the Big Apple, and went to work for Al Franken and Air America. This book is the chronicle of her first year in New York, along with some fascinating autobiographical narratives.

To start with, Lanpher's writing style is addictive, which makes her stories all that more engaging. And for anyone who has moved to New York from another part of the country, reading about her becoming a New Yorker is that much more hilarious. But whether you've lived there or you haven't, you'll laugh your head off when reading about how Lanpher learns how to bribe the superintendent of her building and swear at bad drivers while she traverses the city on her bicycle. You'll be pissed when a snotty clerk informs her that she doesn't carry clothing larger than size 8. You'll be outraged when she recounts her experiences in the testosterone-filled newsrooms, and want to shout, "Bravo!" when you read her retorts to sexist comments. (I won't spoil that part; go out and get the book!)

The part I loved most about this book is that Lanpher is a feminist, and proud of it. She doesn't hide her disdain for women who don't appreciate those who forged the trail for the rest of us.

Add that to the fact that she's one of them, and deserves her moment in the spotlight. But she's refreshingly humble, as well. Her experiences may be extraordinary, but Lanpher comes across as self-deprecating and down-to-earth.

Written by: M.L. Madison, March 2nd 2007